Tied to the Bell Tree
by PolyPtera
Summary: On the day that Suzuki is born, somewhere in another universe a young woman laying in a coma dies. Unfortunately Ann can't accept her death and the impossibility of reincarnation. Suzuki must deal with the consequences as she clashes with her past life while trying to find her place in the secretive world of the shinobi where no one is what they seem. OC Self-Insert.
1. The Okiya

DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon.

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The day I died couldn't have been very special because I can't remember it at all.

I've had plenty of time to think on it, after all time was very slow moving as an infant. I'm sure I had been in the hospital, I recalled the horrifying pain of the intubation, the struggle as I tried to pull it out, the feeling of the restraints on my wrists and occasionally voices but very little else. I must have been very sick, much more so that I had thought. I was young, only twenty-four, and not expecting to die so it took quite some time to realize what had happened.

I suppose the transition from medication induced coma to unborn child wasn't very exciting at all. I didn't notice any change in my condition until well after my death when I first began to hear the noises of the world outside my mother's body, it was then that I realized that something was very wrong, no one was speaking English.

I'm relieved to tell you that I had very few revelations in the womb, I can vaguely recall that moment when I had realized I could no longer hear my mother's voice crooning out an old lullaby but instead new and foreign words, and if I try hard I can remember the moments after my birth when I first saw my mothers face. A beautiful woman with sweaty black hair and dark eyes, but an infant just isn't made to remember all of this.

The first few months of my new life were comfortable and warm. I slept most of the time and when I was awake and my eyes were open I couldn't see much, there were no musical mobiles above my crib or soft toys to play with. I spent most of that time thinking, I imagine they were the usual questions, the why's and how's of my apparent rebirth. I listened for everything I could hear, desperately trying to understand this new language and new place.

There were many women who cared for me, I saw my mother when I nursed, they would take me to her and she would hold me while I sleepily ate. Most of my days and nights were spent with the woman I assumed was my grandmother. She was sick, I could see that much, but her mind was far from gone.

She took a never ending stream of visitors in that back room and it was there that I began to understand this new world and new language. I had been reborn somewhere in Asia, and somewhere shockingly rural at that. My grandmother, Shinju, was an important community figure. Throughout all hours of the day and night visitors would come and go, I couldn't tell you any of what they said, language is most definitely not something you are born knowing.

I had been a nurse in my old life, not very experienced, young and green, but I knew enough to know my own limitations. As a new infant, there wasn't much I could do and this little body was nothing so special or amazing, it itched and couldn't be scratched and my mouth wouldn't form the words I wanted to speak. I was six months in before I managed any significant babbling, my knowledge of English wouldn't help me here, I needed to speak the native tongue.

It would be foolish to think I would be walking anytime soon, but sitting up was a challenge I could rise too. My head was heavier than I had imagined it could be and it was 8 months old before I could lift myself up and stay up without fear of falling and 10 months before I could crawl, it was then that I for the first time saw on my own the world around me, and it was also when I began to forget.

An infant's mind isn't meant to hold a lifetime of memories, and the more I saw and did the more I became this infant and less and less the young Ann who had already lived and died. Its hard to explain how it happened, I suppose I could liken it to the idea of being transformed into a cat and slowly forgetting you are human, I had been reborn an infant and it was hard to remember I had once been an adult.

The advent of mobility should have brought me great freedoms, grandmother was frail and couldn't take off after me if I strayed too far and my mother, the beautiful Umeki, had very little time for me. However opportunities for escape were rare, grandmother had endless tricks to keep me tied down, she would swaddle me tightly in blankets and then bind them with twine till I was so warm and snug I simply fell asleep or she would relegate me to the cursed cage, otherwise known as a crib. It's for that reason that I don't fault myself for not realizing sooner.

This was not a normal home at all, I had been born in an okiya, my mother was a geisha, and a very foolish one at that. The Summi okiya was small but lavish, one of the most successful in the district. My mother was one of two geishas living there, and not the better one, the rooms she shared with me were smaller than those of Honoka the other geisha living with us. I would come to learn that a third geisha belonged to our okiya, she had a danna and lived in an apartment he paid for across the border in kawa no kuni. I often saw one brightly colored girl who ran in and out, our resident maiko, Honoka's younger sister, and of course there was myself and two young hangyoku, both about 8 years of age.

The most important figure in our okiya though was Yumiko-sama, the mother, a commanding woman who ran the okiya. The mother was a distant whirlwind to me, with her presence came a storm of business, and words spoken too fast for me to follow. The mother had very little to do with me during that first year, she wouldn't bother me at all until I found my feet and began to walk, then life changed for me.

Walking was a challenge, if you thought being somewhat adult in mind would help me to walk you're very mistaken, if anything it slowed me down. I was terrified of falling, I knew that babies had soft skulls, I could still feel the fontanelles on mine and worse than that when I did try and walk the legs I thought I had were much larger than the ones I did have. Muscle memory apparently follows you to the next life as well because as soon as I relaxed into a small stepping rhythm I would make an accidental leap and land in a heap on the floor.

I was close to two years old by the time I had mastered walking. I can't say it was time wasted though, grandmothers company was both pleasant and educational. WIth her help I understood a lot of was being said, even if I still couldn't say as much as I would like. To my great pleasure, she also began teaching me to write, not very much mind you, but if I was careful not to be messy she would let me play with paper and a brush she favored that had a very thick easy-to-grasp handle, most likely for her arthritis. I couldn't write anything legible, but with a large enough piece of paper I could somewhat make the kanji for my name, Suzuki.

Though physically a late bloomer, mentally I was quite ahead of my peers and so when at two I finally found my feet the grandmother passed me off to younger and faster caretakers. Konotori was the older of the two young girls who lived in the okiya, tall, lean and wonderfully graceful. Her exceptional talent at dance had earned her an exception from the usual classes and the mother had paid for private lessons.

It was Konotori's responsibility to watch me during the day while she practiced at the okiya and when she had her private lessons at the kaburenjo, our theatre and also where the geisha classes were held. The mother was never too unkind to Konotori, but even so I did try and make an effort to keep both of us out of trouble. I drew on my papers when Konotori practiced at the okiya and when she had her private lessons I would quietly practice the simple stretches and steps that she showed me.

Though I spent most of my time with Konotori it was Kabocha from whom I learned the most. Kabocha, surprisingly, was the best source of gossip for all things happening in the okiya. If there was a question to be asked Kabocha could be relied upon to know something about it. It was she that knew the most about my father. Her whispered discussions with Konotori were insightful to say the least.

She had been there the night that Umeki's pregnancy had been discovered, the mother had been furious. My father was a great client, he traveled a lot but frequented the okiya on his way through. He regularly requested Umeki and she had taken quite a liking to him, when she had discovered her pregnancy she had hidden it until she knew nothing could be done. She had been wrong about my father though, the mother had eyes everywhere and when my father next passed through it was Honoka who went to see him, and he never once asked about my mother. This I supposed could explain some of the distance between Umeki and myself, I was not the child of the great love that she had imagined.

Very little changed in my routine at the okiya, I rarely left and spent most of my time tracing kanji that was more like art to me than words and if I couldn't do that there was a small flute that I had been given to play with and plenty of space for dancing. I still had some lessons with grandmother, the more I grew the harder those became.

Grandmother had in her time been a talented geisha. The story, as she told it, was that she had been born into a noble house that fell upon hard times, she had been sold to the okiya to pay some of the families debts. It was for this reason that grandmother was exceptionally skilled, her accounting and calligraphy were well above average and she taught me with a very firm hand. She would carefully watch as I practiced calligraphy and toyed about with the flute for which I had very little talent, though I had even less with her old shamisen.

I didn't really remember that I had been a nurse before I had died, I didn't even remember having died, so I couldn't tell you how I knew what grandmother needed. I did know though, when I thought she was breathing too slowly or too hard to fetch pillows, to prop her up at just the right angle. I massaged her legs with a kind of terror, I knew bad things happened to people who didn't walk enough. I coaxed her into rolling from side to side and fretted over the sores on her back.

The hardest lessons I learned from grandmother I learned at these times, when she was too tired to watch me play and instead would teach me the art that she knew best, the art of conversation. She would talk to me, adult conversations that I struggled to keep up with, my words had to be just so. If I could not reply appropriately she would look at me in that certain way, and chasten me with one of many many old proverbs she knew, at these times I thought her favorite might be 'speak well or be still'.

It was also with grandmother that I struggled the most with my past life, I didn't remember that I had been Ann, I hadn't for a very long time and there was nothing to remind me that I was. Ann had been a modern American girl and I was growing up in a very traditional Japanese home. I remembered a lot about Ann that I couldn't explain though. I would dream of Ann's grandmother and the two women would blur in my mind until I couldn't easily tell them apart. They were both blonde with startling blue eyes and a soft spoken feminine demeanor. That connection at least I could make, sometimes I dreamed of things that were like other things, but were simply not them. My simple childish denial of Ann's memories as anything more than figments of my imagination finalized the farewell to Ann. Now I was Suzuki.

I spent all my days in a whirlwind of activity but my nights I spent with Umeki. I slept every night on a mat in the small room that belonged to my mother. She would not come back until long after I had fallen asleep and I would wake while she still slumbered, but the smell of her perfumes and paints was comforting. On occasions she would come home having drunk more than usual and would wake me up to listen to her stories, often just tales of a client but sometimes about me as well.

It was on these nights that I both loved and hated Umeki. She would hold me close or comb my hair into elaborate styles, the comfort of her touch was something that I craved but her words ate at my mature mind. Sometimes she would simply describe the different hairstyles, a particularly beautiful kimono she had seen, or even retell a witty story she had heard over and over until she could tell it as if it was her own. There were other nights though, terrible nights when she looked at me and saw the horrible mistakes she had made, on those nights she told me what life was like outside our okiya, the wars that raged outside, the violence of the soldiers and worst of all that one of those soldiers had sired me and one day she would sell me back to him.

Days and nights blurred into each other those first few years. When my dancing was skilled enough the mother paid Konotori's instructor to include me in lessons, Honoka brought me home new ink sets and papers and Umeki collected beautiful flowers that she would help me arrange and later press. Each one had a special meaning and Umeki delighted in telling me what each one had meant when it had been given to her.

I kept practicing and learning and never really stopping to think about all that had happened. I was better than some children older than me, but it felt ridiculous, that I was bested at anything by a child, I felt like an adult, although I knew I could not possibly be so. I would double and triple my efforts to keep pace with the older girls. I suppose if I had remembered any of my past life I would have tried to be less exceptional, to fade more into the background.

As it was I must have appeared beyond talented for a child so young, I was well focused and cared little for play as the other children did, I was a prodigy. I don't quite know when I first realized just how much notice the mother had taken notice of me, but she surely had, and I struggled to meet every expectation and then exceed them, I had to be a geisha, the very best one.

I suppose it was for the best that it happened then when it did. The uncomfortable sensation that had followed me all my life, the near itchiness beneath my skin grew unbearable in during my fourth year of life, at times it seemed to burn me up from the inside and I could almost feel something growing and stretching within me. It came in tides like the ocean, as if waves of it ran through my body, at its peak I was on fire; I felt as though all the air around me buzzed with noise and teemed with sensation I couldn't identify, when it ebbed it smoldered in me, filling my chest in a tight sensation that slowly grew.

More than anything though I felt it in my eyes, and I guess that's where the mother saw it, because all at once it seemed she couldn't stop looking at them. She would stare at me more and more often, my private dance lessons were stopped and I would spend the day with the mother or grandmother, the mother would grab my face with her cold hands and stare at me. I don't know what exchange went on between her and Umeki. But it was only a few weeks after the burning began that I left the okiya.

The mother woke me up that morning herself, we had a small breakfast with grandmother, perhaps the strangest meal I had ever had. The mother was exceedingly polite in all things, even when she was being terribly cruel or horribly rude it did sound very well mannered. Listening to her speak was a life lesson in and of itself. Her voice was like the honey that baits a trap. Grandmother was much the same but she was old and tired and often complained that dancing around words was wasting the years of her life.

That being said it was grandmother who broke the silence of the meal with conversation, "Yumiko, what do you intend to do with the girl now?"

I tried to keep my interest from showing, neither slowing nor speeding up my movements. The mother paused, "If you call one wolf, you invite the pack."

Grandmother nodded. "The girl does have his face, those eyes of hers are darkening up and there won't be any hiding the resemblance now."

'We've never taken children with clan markings before,' the mother affirmed, "Yuuka's tea house is in Konohagakure, it's been a long time since I last went to visit her. I think if I plan to go it should be soon before the cold sets in.

Konoha.. Konoha... wasn't that.. a shinobi village? That was not the sort of place I belonged, although the name felt very familiar... had mother mentioned it before?

"Suzuki," the mother addressed me, "Suzuki, you know your father is a shinobi, he is well known and it would be dangerous for the okiya to be closely associated with him. My older sister owns a tea house in Konohagakure, in a shinobi village the markings on your face will not draw attention. I will take you to live with her."

"No.. please no..", I struggled against my unshed tears, "I don't want to leave the okiya"

"I'm sorry Suzuki-chan," Grandmother rested her hand on my shoulder, "the fathers debts are the son's to repay. The price you pay for a strong father is your anonymity. Think of this as an opportunity though, when the winds of change blow some build walls and others build windmills. Suzu, harness the wind and grow strong."

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Authors Note -

- Sorry if you already read this and now I've changed it soo much you need to re-read it. I hadn't actually planned on writing it when I did, I just had a super aggro moment and stress wrote to avoid strangling my roommate. Anyway, my imouto-chan talked me into actually planning out where I want it to go.. so a LOT of it had to change to make sense.

It drives me nuts that there are A. so few kunoichi and B. almost all of them are totally aggro. So this is my imaginary land where female ninja are not constantly PMSing and beating men into the ground for nothing might actually be frowned upon by some people.

Some of the inspiration for this chapter came from Arthur Golden's book 'Memoirs from a Geisha' because its fantastically detailed, however I do not intend for Suzuki to be anything like Sayuri, she was a bit fatalistic for my taste... so please don't worry.

- Reviews are LOVE! 3 3


	2. The Hokage

_DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon._

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The mother moved quickly. It seemed everyone had known that I would be leaving except me. Konotori had bags packed for my journey before our breakfast was finished and Honoka prepared me for traveling the minute I left grandmothers rooms.

She took me down to the washrooms and slipped me into a tub of hot water before scrubbing me from top to bottom despite my insistence that I could do this myself. Once she had me clean and wrapped in a towel she propped me up on top of the vanity so I could see myself in the mirror. My face was the same as it ever had been; white hair, a rather proportioned face, and the same weepy eyes. What clan markings?

Honoka reached up and pulled gently on my lower eyelid, stretching the skin gently so I could see the slight red line that had always sat beneath my eyes was darker than before and came to a gentle point like a teardrop that hadn't yet fallen.

"They seem small Suzuki, but you are young and the marks will lengthen. We would not send you away on a whim, that man was travelling through only a few weeks ago and I was called to entertain for him." Honoka paused before continuing, "I had seen your eyes darkening and I asked about his, Suzuki.. the lines you have here run all the way down his face, and when he was young they were much like yours. It is best that we give you a new place now before the markings are too prominent and while you are young and change is easier to face"

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the mirror, and my fingers ran across the red line seemingly of their own accord. "Honoka.. can't we cover it up?"

"Not always Suzuki, hidden things eventually come to light." Honoka turned me then to face her and looked at me with a solemn expression, "You are still very young, you will do well."

She helped me to dress in simple traveling attire, heavy tights with a skirt, a dark blouse and a woolen jacket. When all the buttons were fastened and I couldn't find another reason for delay she paused.

"Suzuki," she reassured as her hands ran through my hair, "I don't know what will happen to you when you reach Konoha, but I do know a few things. That man... I know your mother doesn't like him, but he's not bad. The tea house is a nice place as well, Yuuka-san married a good man and if you stay with them, they will treat you very well."

I nodded, and fingered the stiff fabric of my new outfit. There was nothing I could say to change my circumstance.

Honoka had dressed me as a civilian, a far cry from the traditional attire of the okiya, it felt like I was a different person. In the confines of the hanamachi, the geisha district, we had an image to present, a certain mystique that made the geisha attractive. Away from the hanamachi though, we dressed and behaved much the same as any other, unrecognisably so in fact.

This would be my first time leaving the hanamachi and I had never worn anything other than our traditional attire. The clothing felt too light, and I wanted to exchange it for the familiarity of my heavy kimonos. Dressed like this I felt off kilter.

There was no extravagant send off.

Umeki came to me first, she held a red ribbon with small beads stitched onto it. "This was a gift from my elder sister when I became a maiko, her sister gave one to her when she became a maiko. I know you won't be a geisha here Suzuki, but just as I became a maiko once, you are now becoming something."

She ran her hands through my hair, long and silky like hers, but completely the wrong color. She tied the ribbon into a quickly made braid and then left.

Konotori and Kabocha came already crying. They didn't say anything as we cried on each other. Konotori braided a small pink ribbon with storks into my hair and Kabocha a white ribbon with polka dots.

Grandmother was in her room when I found her. She was back in her bed and waiting for me.

"Obaasan..." I cried.

"Now, now, Suzuki. It's not that bad, come up here."

I climbed up onto her bed and she deftly tied a blue and gold ribbon into my hair. "My mother gave me that ribbon when I first left to become a geisha. I chose this life Suzu-chan. This is all you have ever known, maybe it's time you saw the rest of the world, choose your own path."

She held me close and sung to me for just a moment before she gestured at Honoka who was waiting in the doorway. She lifted me up and away from grandmother as I cried. I squirmed to get away but Honoka was stronger than she looked, she held me in place with one arm and my luggage with the other.

She brought me to the edge of the district where the mother was waiting. The walk had been long enough that my tears had dried up, leaving only stains across my face. Honoka pulled out a moist handkerchief and wiped up my face before braiding a small feathered ribbon into my hair. She thumped my head once with her favorite fan, before tucking it into my jacket pocket.

"Be safe Suzuki." She whispered into my ear before she turned and left.

Now it was just the me... and the mother.

We joined a small caravan for the journey, walking all the way to Konoha simply wouldn't be safe. Our village, Sugi, was on right on the borders between Ame, Konoha and the River Country. Even though the war had ended a year ago, a border town like ours was always on high alert, shinobi skirmishes were not uncommon.

There were four carriages in our caravan, our was the third in line and we shared it with a very small company of musicians, none of which played any of the traditional music you might hear in the district. The mother was not impressed and had harsh stares for any who such much as glanced at an instrument. The trip would take us two and a half very boring weeks at the pace the caravan moved, I suspected walking might be faster but did not dare to suggest it.

The villages we passed through were quaint. Nowhere near the hustle and bustle of a border village like Sugi, where traders and travellers were abundant. We passed mostly farming communities, and one looks very much like another. When there wasn't farmland to look at there was mostly forest. The youngest of the musicians had tried to engage me in a guessing game, but there were only so many ways to describe a tree... "I see with my little eye something green" quickly became a reason for long sighs and longer stares.

The journey itself lacked any excitement, that first day I began to hope for at least campfire songs or stories. I was grossly mistaken. For fear of attracting danger we did not even light campfires, the drivers would cover the caravan with thick leafy branches and we would all huddle together with our blankets for warmth and wait out the darkness.

By the time we reached our destination I was thoroughly sick of the caravan.

Konoha itself was a sight to behold. It was much larger than I had anticipated, surrounded by high gates and endless trees. For a place so grand it was well hidden, the trees were so thick I hadn't seen it at all until we were nearly upon it. I who had been the most eager to arrive hadn't noticed our arrival until the caravan had come to a quick halt. I suspect we wouldn't have arrived at all except for a shinobi who had escorted us the last two days of the journey.

He had leapt out of the forest and spoken with the lead driver before settling atop the last caravan to keep guard, though the mother said it was not the road he was watching but us. He never did speak to me and despite a burning curiosity about this strange man I was far too shy to approach him. His presence had made me increasingly curious about the shinobi though, and their village which would soon be mine as well.

We piled out of the caravans, those wouldn't be allowed past the gates. Armed shinobi leapt off the walls in a single swift movement to meet us. They spoke with their fellow who had been lazing the last two days on our caravan roof before performing a thorough search of all the luggage and paperwork. He gave the mother a curious look though, and he let us through the gates first.

The village set me on edge. The hanamachi in Sugi was alive like a sakura tree, it felt like soft petals in the breeze and secrets whispered on the wind. Konoha looked open and welcoming but it felt like a forest of great oak trees, so tall and and thick that you couldn't see the light past the canopy, so crammed together that the very air felt oppressing. I didn't fight the mother at all as she pulled me down the street, I was too busy fighting to get this heavy air into my lungs. Konoha felt all wrong, I did not belong here.

The mother brought us to a tea house in the heart of the village. It wasn't like any tea house in the hanamachi. This was a modern establishment, there were no geisha and therefore none of their accoutrements. It was surprising that this was Yuuka-san's tea house, after all Yuuka-san had been a geisha, the mother's older sister even.

The mother brought me right up the front counter and passed my hand off to the young girl behind it.

"Suzuki," she turned to face me, "this is Sachiko-san. She is Yuuka's daughter and she is going to sit with you while Yuuka and I discuss business."

The firm stare she leveled at me before she headed to the back rooms clearly communicated something along the lines of 'misbehave and you'll regret it'.

Sachiko was plump and friendly and more than willing to slip me biscuits and sweets, but I couldn't stomach the thought of eating anything. The air in the village was making me feel hot and tired and just a little sick.

When she couldn't buy my favor with sweets she instead took the plate to a table at the back with three teenage boys. The chubby one who looked like her I learned was her older brother, Choza. In the few hours I spent there I watched him eat more sweets that I had in my entire life. Sachiko wasn't far behind him if you went by her constant nibbling.

I thought her to be no more than 13 years of age and not particularly beautiful. It may seem a little judgmental to think so much of Sachiko's appearance, but I was going to be a geisha, and beauty was important. What she lacked in beauty she made up for with a jubilant personality. Sachiko talked up a storm.

Her mother I already knew about, Yuuka was a retired geisha who had married her childhood love and opened a tea house. Her father and Choza were both shinobi, and although she had had some training she had decided to work in the tea house instead and sometimes in a popular accessory store.

By the time the mother had returned I felt like I knew every secret the tea house had to offer. It was a relief to be taken upstairs to the rooms we would be using. Yuuka had prepared one of the private rooms above the tea house for us to use overnight. There were two futons and the mother immediately positioned hers in front of the door, I strongly suspect to prevent any late night wandering or escapes on my part.

I didn't drift off until late into the night, the stifling feeling of the air here made my skin itch terribly and hot flashes of blazing heat seemed dance about it the night air, darting from one place to another it made me dizzy to feel it. The same hot, sick feeling filled me as it had since I entered the village. The dreams I did eventually fall into were frightening vivid visions of shinobi, of giant snakes crashing down the village walls and children fighting in the streets. I had never had dreams like that before. It was a relief to wake up.

The mother was already gone by the time I had rolled up my futon and dressed for the day. Sachiko met me downstairs with a small breakfast of rice and fish and then quickly announced that we were going out today. A plump woman with strange purple lines across her face waved to us from behind the counter as Sachiko carried me on her shoulders out into the streets. The village was no less stifling than it had been the day before, but at least from Sachiko's shoulders I could see more than legs and sandals.

It seemed like everyone in this village was armed to the teeth and doing the impossible, there were people leaping from one rooftop to another, a girl who punched a young boy through a wall, and my favorite, a woman who appeared to inhale ramen. It also seemed just a little familiar, the worst though was the Hokage monument, I knew I had seen this before. I had dreamed about that mountain, perhaps Umeki had traveled here when I was very young and I simply couldn't remember?

Sachiko and I reached our destination eventually, a bathhouse. She ushered me inside where the mother and Yuuka-san were waiting for me. They took me into a backroom where they stripped me down and scrubbed me. The mother spent what seemed like hours scrubbing my hair while her sister carefully washed down the rest of me, paying close attention to my face. If I had thought I was clean when they were done I was wrong.

They took me to the baths and I sat again while the callouses on my hands and feet were scrubbed away, ink stains on my fingers were soaked off and all the while the mother and her sister gossiped in fast whispered voices. Very little of their conversation was about me. Yuuka occasionally stopped to trace my eyes with her fingers, or run a comb through my long white hair. She shared long looks with the mother, I would have at those moments given every kimono in the okiya to know what words passed unspoken between them, or perhaps not, perhaps I would have given them up for the chance to return to the okiya.

When they deemed me well cleaned, they slipped me into a small back room and dried me off, I was dressed in a simple red yukata and rather than styling my hair Yuuka-san combed it until it dried sleek and straight running down my back. She tied in every ribbon that I had been given when I left the okiya and then they added one of her own.

"This ribbon," Yuuka began, "is from my last days at the Summi Okiya. I loved the okiya, but I found great happiness here in Konoha. May this ribbon bring you some of that happiness."

I bowed my head and thanked her as she braided it into my hair with the others.

The mother reached over and began braiding a second ribbon into my hair, it was blue with small gold stitching on the edges. She ran her hands through my hair in a comforting gesture that made me just a little nervous, after all this was the mother.

"My mother braided a ribbon into my hair on the day that she gave me to the Okiya, she told me it would protect me. It is my belief that this ribbon will protect you." She smiled possible the sincerest smile I had ever seen on her face, at the same time though she looked a bit resigned and almost guilty.

She took out a second ribbon and gave it to me to hold. "This ribbon is yours Suzu, put it a safe place and one day you will know what to do with it."

It was blood red with small wax remnants, but otherwise unremarkable. I slipped it into my pocket with a nod.

They slipped me into my traveling cloak before they dressed themselves. The mother and Yuuka-san had once been geisha and the art of beauty had not been lost in the intervening years, even with only the most simple of paints and just regular clothing they transformed themselves into great beauties.

Yuuka-san sent for Sachiko who been patiently waiting outside for us, she took all that we had carried with us back the tea house. They each slipped a hand into one of mine and and we they guided me out of the building and onto the streets. I felt more eyes on me than I could see looking at me but didn't let it bother me.

I recognized a lot of what I was seeing, not from just anywhere either, I had dreamed of this last night. I must have seen more yesterday than I had thought because all of these places were just a little familiar and some I blatantly recognized. They led me to a very familiar red building, I had dreamed of it, but I still didn't know what it was.

Shinobi filled this place in droves, all of them watching without watching, I could feel their eyes on us. I immediately disliked the building, Konoha proper felt itchy and hot and made me sick, but this building felt even worse, not only did it make me sick but it was filled with the staring men.

Yuuka spoke to a shinobi at the main desk and we followed him into the back of the building, the mother gripped my hand tightly as she tugged me along with her. The halls were crowded with the shinobi, and the burning sensation was intensified. This whole building was exploding with different sensations that itched against my skin, I felt pressed in on all sides.

The mother and Yuuka didn't seem to notice at all, and I struggled to keep pace as they lead me into the depths of this place and closer to where I felt the biggest fire of all could be found. I wasn't wrong either, the room we entered was large and round and right in the middle sat a man in white robes, the Hokage.

The mother and Yuuka-san bowed and held their heads and eyes down and I quickly followed suit although my eyes remained locked on the Hokage. He looked exactly like I expected which is unusual, because how often do you really picture something just like it is before you have seen it?

He inclined his head just slightly and I straightened, Yuuka and the mother following suit as he cleared his throat. Yuuka-san held out a several curled scrolls as the Mother carefully removed my cloak revealing my full appearance to the room. I felt as if something magical should happen. Nothing did though, a shinobi across the room came over to take the scrolls from Yuuka-san and deliver them to the Hokage who sat quietly perusing them, occasionally glancing up to look at me.

When he did place them down it was with a long sigh that seemed to be exasperation, but with what I didn't know. He gestured at the mother and she pushed me forward. I walked towards him by myself. He crouched on the floor in front of the desk to receive me and though I didn't want to I came to a standstill a foot in front of him as he alternated between inspecting me and sharing meaningful looks with Yuuka-san and the mother. His hands ran through my hair and traced my eyes as he spoke to me in a soothing voice.

"You have beautiful hair Suzuki-chan, has it always been this white?"

I nodded at him.

"Do you know why you are here?"

Again I nodded, but he seemed to be waiting for more. "I have weepy eyes and we can't always cover them up. I wanted to too, but Honoka said hidden things always come to light. Its not safe for girls who look like me to stay at the okiya. So I had to come here."

"And what do you think of Konoha so far?"

"Its.. It's very.." How could I describe this place? I barely understood how I felt about this strangely familiar village. "There are a lot of trees, big ones, not like the ones at home. There is lots to see, it's very big here, but it also makes me itch all over."

His brow furrowed and his gaze seemed suddenly more intense, "It makes you itch?"

I hesitated, but the mother just nodded at me. "It itches a lot here, especially here here, in this building. Like.. like breathing smoke that isn't smoke... it doesn't hurt hurt but it burns a little, its all full up in my chest and its scratching against me. I don't really like that, it makes me feel sick."

He just smiled at me, it felt warmer and safer than any hug my mother had ever given me, it felt like the fire in him was reaching out to soothe the itching in me. His hands ran through my hair and I felt myself leaning further and further into him, the last thing I heard before I collapsed asleep against him was his strong voice.

"Hound, send for Jiraiya"

* * *

Authors Note -

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and followed and what not. It's super encouraging! Super special thanks to SpaceCavy who has read at least three different versions of this chapter for approval, thanks for putting up with my spazzing imouto-chan!

- Reviews are LOVE! 3 3


	3. Jiraiya

DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon.

* * *

When I woke up I was still in his arms. My hands were twisted in a tight grip on the fabric of his shirt, my face buried in his neck and his strong voice was echoing across the room. I must have slept for some time because my eyes felt gritty and my feeble attempts to shift my tired body were for naught. The itchiness that had plagued me was soothed and I shifted closer, planning on drifting back off. More voices began to reach my ears and their insistent chatter kept me on the edge of consciousness.

"...definitely very sensitive.. clearly your child.."

"...Umeki'.. Summi Okiya.."

"...white hair and red rimmed eyes... its really the chakra that's telling though..."

An unfamiliar hand brushed across my hair and I startled awake. I shifted to look and the Hokage gently turned me in his lap. Yuuka-san was seated across the room but the mother was gone, there were two men as well, I didn't recognize either one of them. The man closest to me was tall with long dark hair, a pale face, and an amused expression. My first instinct was distrust, but he felt cool and light in the way that many of the others had been burning. This I felt was someone I could come to like, someone who didn't burn. I smiled as I peeked behind him at the other man.

I horrible tight, fearful feeling built up in my chest and the tears started flowing, soft sobs pushed their way out despite my best efforts. This man looked a lot like me, he had long white hair and dark eyes and Umeki had said that she would sell me back to him, the traveling man who killed for money, the man who was my father. He was a confirmation of everything I had been worrying over since I left the okiya.

"One look at you and she's already crying Jiraiya! Not much of a ladies man now are you?" the cold man laughed loud and long and I felt the Hokage's chest shuddering against my back as held his mirth inside.

"I just...," I sobbed, "I just want to go home!"

"Of course you do," the white man gently replied,"I'm going to take you home. Did you know I'm your otousan?"

I nodded. Of course I knew, everyone said I looked just like him and they hadn't exaggerated at all.

He was kneeling in front of me now, I hadn't even seen him move, are all shinobi this fast? I wasn't foolish, I knew he wasn't taking me to my home, home was the Okiya. My throat felt tight and I gasped between sobs, how was it possible to cry this hard?!

His hands snaked around my waist and I stiffened up as he pulled me against him, this was my murderous father, Jiraiya. I leaned back towards the safety of the Hokage before a thought froze me, the Hokage killed people too, he was the best killer in the whole village. In fact, Yuuka-san and I were the only real people in the room, even the burning men in the walls, they were ninjas too, killers.

I struggled past my tears, "Are you.. am I going to die now?"

The warmth seemed to leach from the room and the itchiness suddenly returned seemingly intent on ripping through my skin to fill the sudden emptiness around me. He held me at an arms length away from him his face level with mine. He looked a lot like me, but less pretty. It had been awhile since I had last seen myself in Umeki's mirrors but I knew I didn't have a wart on my nose or the thick red tear stains that ran down his face.

"Musume," he said softly but firmly, "I will not ever hurt you, and I won't let anyone else hurt you either, not as long as I can protect you."

I could feel his sincerity, this wasn't a lie. Crying is exhausting and I leaned into this white haired man who looked so much like me, his hands held me firmly against him as he rose up from his crouch and I found myself at eye level with the very amused cold man and the Hokage. How embarrassing, no one likes to cry in front of people. I hid my face against his neck. It was silent for a moment before the cold man coughed drawing the attention of the room.

"Back to being the lady killer already Jiraiya, you don't waste time winning them over. What are you going to do with her now though?"

The white man (no, his name is Jiraiya), paused for a moment before speaking, "Take her home I guess. Sakumo has managed well enough with Kakashi, don't see why I can't manage with little... little.. sensei.. what did you say her name was?"

"Yumiko-san said she is called Suzuki." the Hokage grinned as he spoke, "I suppose she has a greater sense of humor than I remembered... naming your child 'bell tree'."

"Suzuki-chan," he pressed his lips against my head as he murmured my name. It didn't feel quite right, nothing ever really felt quite right, but when he said it didn't seem so bad. He was warm like the Hokage had been, and he hummed underneath his skin in a soothing way, a hard to describe sensation filled the air around him. He felt strong and safe and the itching subsided when he wrapped me in his arms.

The cold man leaned towards me and smiled, his hand ruffled through my hair and I smiled back. "Well Jiraiya," he said with that same amused smile, "you'd best find someway to break the news to Tsunade and Minato."

"Hey.. Hey.. HEY," he yelled after the cold man as he was leaving, "you're going to be there for that right? RIGHT?" I could hear the cold mans laugh echoing around the building.

Yuuka once again stepped into view. "She is welcome at the tea house, if you don't have suitable accommodations yet we are prepared to take her... As much as Yumiko is my sister, this is my niece you hold."

"I have a few spare rooms so that won't be necessary, but I am grateful to the Akimichi clan for their hospitality to my daughter." Jiraiya inclined his head towards Yuuka.

She bowed her back, first at Jiraiya and then again at the Hokage, before facing me. "Suzuki-chan, you are always welcome at the tea house, in fact I expect that you will visit me again soon." She lifted her head to face Jiraiya, "And you... I expect that you will find a new found appreciation for Akimichi tea, I hope to see you at least once a week."

Yuuka left then too and I was alone with Jiraiya and the Hokage. He gave another long sigh before gesturing to the door. "You've been suspended from the missions roster until further notice. I expect to see my granddaughter in here again soon, when you have her settled at least bring her by for dinner, Asuma is about the same age."

With that final parting we were dismissed. Jiraiya lifted me onto his shoulders and a pathway through the throngs of ninja parted in front of us. His hair was thicker and rougher than mine and I as my hands threaded through it to hold on I thought that it was somewhat like holding the reins of a horse. I pulled slightly with each hand as we weaved through crowds of people, imitating his turns. My left foot I thought would be speed and my right would be the brakes, and I tried to alternate thumping them with his movements. As we hit an open stretch I pushed my foot hard against left side he must have noticed my imaginary maneuvering because we sped up, the more I kicked on the left the quicker we got till we were practically flying through the streets till I was laughing so hard I could barely hold on.

When we did come to a stop it was at a rather nice looking complex close to the edge of the village. His apartment was on the third floor in a corner space, one side looked out at the forests and other side.. if you squinted it was a good view of the Hokage tower. Getting inside was the real challenge, I hoped he never intended to have me come here alone. Protected was an understatement, the traps he had to dismantle to get inside were innumerable.

The apartment was itself was by no means small. There were two bedrooms, the one he brought me to was dusty and had a smell I associated with storage. He let me unpack the the bags Konotori had packed at the okiya while he packed up what was already in the room.

A book of carefully pressed flowers the Umeki had made with me was placed on a bookshelf that Jiraiya quickly cleared of scrolls. I closeted a small selection of simple yukatas that I had worn at the okiya and two beautiful kimono, one of them I had worn before and the other I recognized as having been intended for my fifth birthday. There were other things as well, my favorite blanket, several scrolls of calligraphy, a collection of fans brought home for me from parties and festivals, all my possessions from the okiya.

With my own luggage unpacked I clamored up onto the too tall bed and watched as he boxed up scrolls, books, clothes that didn't look like they were his. Who did this room belong to?

When waiting on him got too much I explored on my own. Underneath the bed was a veritable treasure trove of long forgotten possessions. My first find was a sharp three pronged knife that Jiraiya quickly confiscated, he tossed it high in the air and it sunk the hilt into the ceiling. I quickly dove back in and managed to pull out a lacy bra and a purple obi, not to mention numerous rolls of bandages, scraps of parchment and in the far corner a dusty old dog mat.

When we finally finished I tugged at his pants leg as I walked past, I wanted to see the rest of the house. He dutifully followed me through the apartment as I peered around corners and out windows (which had to be de-trapped), it wasn't nicer than the okiya, but if it was just the two of us then it might not be so bad.

The bathroom caught my attention, in the okiya I had washed up with the other young girls using a small shower in the little bathroom, the great tub had been for the geisha, but if it was just the two of us here I could use this one too! The kitchen looked as though it lacked use although it was newer by far than what I was used to; the okiya was either very traditional or all of this was very expensive. I suspected traditional... after all the okiyas kimono collection probably cost more than this entire complex.

When I had seen everything that it felt appropriate to look at on my own I looked at the last door, that one must be his. What was it like? My lips felt glued shut, how did you talk to the father you just met? I tugged on his pants again instead and pointed in the direction of the closed door. I guess he didn't know what to say either because instead of a response he lifted me up and carried me over the trip wires as he dismantled them. I stared on in amazement, why had I been worried about him killing me? His house alone could manage it.

The room was furnished much the same as the others, one large bed, dressers and bookshelves, the main difference was the mess. Scrolls and ink were everywhere, I couldn't imagine ever leaving such a mess after practicing with grandmother, the possibilities for punishment were endless and not something I cared to think about.

I wriggled for escape and immediately began to collecting the scrolls and carefully placing them on the shelves the way I would in grandmothers room. He simply sat down and watched me, a look of utter disbelief still emblazoned across his face. When a clear path had been made I edged my way towards him.. something had to be said. Silences like these were comfortable in the okiya, but here with him they felt like an eternity.

"Ano.. tou-san," I hesitantly called to him.

"Suzuki..." he drawled.

"What happens to me now?"

'Now? You'll live here with me.' He looked as anxious as I felt and something eased inside of me, a sense of familiarity I shouldn't have. I knew this man... we hadn't met but I knew him. He was made of frogs and parchment and sound of pages turning in a book. Why was he so familiar? Are all parents this way? I had never felt so close to Umeki.

"Will Umeki come live with us?"

"Would you like her to?" He countered.

"I.. would like grandmother too... I miss her," I deliberately avoided the issue of Umeki, I did love her, you can't not love your mother... but she didn't always feel like my mother and I didn't really miss her.

His voice was soft as he spoke, "what do you miss about grandmother?"

"She read me stories... she played games with me... grandmother sung songs for me..." my hands fisted in my shirt, scrunching the fabric nervously.

He reached out and ruffled his hands through my hair. "Well... I promise to tell you stories, I know so many stories I have written whole books! I know lots of games we can play and I don't sing very well but I promise to try."

When you're four and feeling sick... emotions are out of control. He tugged me into his arms as I started sobbing, I missed grandmother. I missed the okiya and the whole hanamachi. I missed Umeki brushing my hair, Konotori dancing with me, Kabocha sneaking sweets from the kitchen to share, I even missed the way the Honoka would smack my head with her fan when she thought I was daydreaming too much.

I couldn't stop crying. He lifted me into his lap and hummed a song I didn't recognize while I cried.

* * *

- Excerpt From Jiraiya's POV

She was four, almost five years old. She looked just like him. When had this happened? Clearly it had happened something like five years ago on a night that was honestly difficult to remember. Umeki had probably been the geisha in the black kimono with the pear blossoms on the hem, it was a nice kimono.. what had the geisha looked like though?


	4. Seals Eat Fish

_DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon._

* * *

I must have fallen asleep crying again, a new habit perhaps? I next woke up to the smell of food and the clattering of noise in the kitchen. I was in my own too big bed, what kind of children's bed sat two feet off the floor? It took some sleepy maneuvering to land myself on the floor, but I still landed with a loud thump that had me looking about guiltily. I crept carefully around each bend, before finally peering into the kitchen.

Jiraiya was sitting at the kitchen counter while his friend the cold man served take-out into three bowls. Jiraiya had an especially grim expression on his face as they spoke in hushed tones that I couldn't make out. It didn't suit him at all, I had a lingering feeling that Jiraiya was the kind of man who should always be smiling. His serious demeanor was making me unsettled... I could do something about that though.

On an impulse I ran into the kitchen and they both turned to acknowledge me but I moved faster. I tugged on the cold mans pant leg and he looked down at me. "Ano.. are you a boy or a girl?"

The cold man froze and we both blushed with embarrassment, but Jiraiya's roaring laughter made every second of that humiliating experience worth it. I was right, he was definitely the kind of man who should always be smiling. The cold man's eyes flickered between my and Jiraiya before settling on a knowing look in my direction... oh.. caught on to that had he?

"That..." Jiraiya stumbled on words between guffaws, "that is your ojisan, Orochi-"

'Ojisan?" Orochi... something interrupted. Still staring at me, but this time with a more conspiratorial look.

"Of course. You and Sakumo are the close enough to be brothers"

"What will that make Tsunade? Obasan?" he questioned.

Jiraiya paled and quickly turned to me, "Suzuki-chan, when you meet Tsunade, your obasan, you have to remember to call her oneesan. If you want tousan to live you have to call her oneesan"

I nodded my head as seriously as I could, damping down my smile.

Jiraiya lifted me onto one of the high stools by at his kitchen counter and Orochi-oji served me dinner. It was simple miso soup, for some reason I thought there would be fish... a giant fish and a loud blonde boy instead of Orochi-oji.

I ate some, but I still felt sick. And my dreams had been strange and exhausting. Dreams are a funny thing, you can't control them at all... but they are most certainly influenced by what you are thinking about, why else would I dream of Jiraiya? Strange dreams too... dreams of Jiraiya with a blond boy eating popsicles and teaching and playing with three children a bit older than me. Maybe that was my way of telling myself I wanted older brothers and sisters? Or maybe it was just dreams of what kind of father I wanted Jiraiya to be?

"Suzu-chan aren't you hungry?" Jiraiya asked, eyeing my still full bowl abandoned on the table as I was lost in my thoughts.

I shook my head no, I was already too tired.

"Sensei said you didn't feel well, are you still feeling sick?" he asked.

I nodded, I was ready to sleep again. Being in Konoha was like living on top of a giant leech, slowly sucking the energy from me. I pushed the bowl away so I could rest my head on the table while I listened to Orochi-oji's smooth voice as he talked about... well it was a little over my head.

I didn't wake up again until the next day, still feeling tired and hot and a little itchy all over. There were some simple play clothes laid out at the end of my bed, a frog t-shirt and black sweatpants. Jiraiya had already prepared breakfast, most of which I didn't feel like eating, but he insisted, after all he claimed we were going out today and if I didn't eat now I would have no energy later.

I grudgingly obeyed with thoughts of parks and playgrounds dancing through my head. Inevitably I was disappointed when he did tell me our destination. I didn't expect the hospital to be my first outing with Jiraiya.

I had visited the one in Sugi just once when I had fallen during dance but it had been much smaller and less... less bloody. There were two young boys by the front desk, one supporting the other who had clearly been on the wrong end of a knife and in the hallways Jiraiya hadn't covered my eyes in time and I caught more than a glimpse of a man with his leg dangling half off and knives sticking out as if he were a pincushion.

Our twisting path through the hallways to a small exam room in the back. Jiraiya set me on the examination table before knocking on the door to an adjoining room. "Biwako-san, I have Suzuki here for her appointment"

Appointment? I had an appointment? What for?

The door opened and I craned my neck to see the woman as she entered. She wasn't very tall but had long long brown hair in a high ponytail and a very stern expression. Her presence commanded the room, Jiraiya stood straighter, I quit craning and sat up straight. She had that same presence all the other ninja had, like there was a great big fire burning her up inside, only... damped down?

She passed a large stack of forms to Jiraiya, "So this is the girl Jiraiya? Hiruzen told me all about her last night.. just a bit younger than Asuma. You'll need to fill these out, as much as you know would be a start."

"Summi, Suzuki...", she looked at me and then turned her gaze to Jiraiya, "or will she be taking your name?"

"The Summi okiya can't be associated with shinobi," he diverted.

"Kurosawa, Suzuki it is then." She penned a note onto her clipboard and then motioned me upright. "I hear that you are a dancer, can you perform the Reaching Stork?"

I answered with the dance instead of words. The reaching stork is a simple routine that flexes, extends and rotates your joints as a warm of for complex dances. It is simple, but not easy, you must be flexible and coordinated, this dance I could perform sleeping though. For the geisha in-training at our okiya this routine was practiced upon waking each morning and again before each practice session.

Jiraiya and Biwako-san watched, Biwako while taking notes and Jiraiya while avoiding his. I hit the last step as it happened, a high pitched shriek sounded throughout the building and a fist slammed through the door. I twisted painfully in my fright and Biwako caught me as I began to fall.

"JIRAIYA! JIRAIYA! I know you're in there!" It was the the shrieking voice.

The fist pulled back and whole door went with it, the blonde behind the door shook it off and stormed into the room.

"Jiraiya," the newly dubbed she-beast seethed, "Is it true? It was bad enough when you were running around teaching Konoha techniques to orphans in Ame, but to find out you were actually whoring while we were fighting and dying! I don't even have words for it!"

"Tsunade... That's not it, I wa-"

"I don't want to hear it Jiraiya", she cut him off and raised her monstrous fist up and my arms went up defensively as my eyes closed tightly shut, but nothing happened. I eyes peeked open and I looked on in awe at what I saw. Biwako-san had caught the beast's fist before it could connect with Jiraiya's face.

"Tsunade, that's enough", Biwako _commanded_, "head back to the teaching floors. We'll speak of this later."

The she-beast looked around the room startled as if for the first time noticing then broken door and me, hiding under the table with my injured ankle drawn up to my chest. She looked almost apologetic, she bowed her head to Biwako and then at me before giving Jiraiya a hard look and leaving. Biwako was incredible, I wanted to be that fast and I definitely wanted to speak with her confident tones that halted even the wildest monsters.

"That's the most riled I've seen her in awhile, she's been far too quiet of late, definitely worth one door," Biwako mused as she watched the she-beast storm down the hallway through the empty doorframe.

Wait what? In what universe did we trade perfectly serviceable doors for she-beasts and consider it breaking even?!

Jiraiya carefully lifted me back up onto the exam table, this time sitting me on his lap as Biwako carefully examined my twisted ankle.

"I'm going to heal your ankle with chakra Suzu, it's going to look bright and scary, but it won't hurt," Biwako said as she straightened out my foot.

Her hand reached began to glow a soft green color, it hard to describe the exact feeling I had as she reached out to me, but what I can tell you is the minute her hand touched my foot the world exploded.

It wasn't painful, it was like I had finally accomplished whatever I had been trying to do, no itching or burning, rather the opposite. I felt great it was as if my focus sharpened, everything became clear and vibrant and an overriding thought ran through my head... _I am Ann!_ It lasted just a second, before Biwako snatched her hand away. The sensation faded quickly but Biwako continued to stare at me.

"Suzuki," Biwako addressed me, "what do you feel when I put my chakra in you?"

I hesitated a moment.. what did I feel?

"Better I think." I replied, settling for a vague response when I couldn't think of a way to describe it.

"Well... that's interesting... Hiruzen mentioned she was sensitive, but I think this is something more. A complete shift in her chakra circulation when mine was introduced..", Biwako mused, "You were right to bring her in, it's definitely unusual, but not not necessarily bad, we just need to correct the flow... a temporary patch can be created with the medical seals I know, but you might want to design something more permanent."

"I'm not sure I want to wait too long. Her chakra has been wildly fluctuating, I suspect it's in reaction to chakra levels around her, which I can't do much to control," Jiraiya responded, a slight frown on his face.

"Hyuuga, Hatsu works a swing shift in the hospital and if I remember correctly she has an activated byakugan. Bring Suzu by again this afternoon and we'll get a firm diagnosis on the problem and correct what we can."

She dismissed Jiraiya with a wave of her hand and he threw me up onto his shoulders, I wouldn't be walking thanks to that she-beast Tsunade.

What had all of that meant though? My chakra was flowing backwards? Chakra was life-force, if mine was flowing backwards that would mean I was dying.. and they didn't make it sound as serious as that.

"Tou-san... what are we going back to the hospital for"' I questioned.

"You know Suzu, how you said it itched here? And it was harder to breathe?"

I nodded, I did know that feeling, it was constant. I much preferred Sugi, I hadn't felt great in Sugi, it had been awhile since I hadn't experienced that uncomfortable sensation beneath my skin... but here in Konoha it was as though a furnace had been lit and I was burning from inside and outside in sudden flashes that were exhausting.

"Well," he continued,"that's because something is interrupting your chakra flow. We are going to fix it though, so it won't bother you anymore."

He left me atop his shoulders as we went about the day, and I eventually forgot that I was pouting about she-beast and began to enjoy the pony ride. We stopped to buy dango which, despite my best efforts, still managed to make my fingers sticky and consequently his hair.

Perhaps the best stop was a small toy shop where he insisted on buying me a set of blunt knives while I insisted on a delicate geisha doll, I don't know what we would have settled on left to our own devices, but a the young brunette shopkeeper had found me 'adorable', and had shown us several dolls that made a matching set with the one I held. We left with all three dolls, the blunted knives, her apartment number and an invitation to visit as well my freshly pink and pinched cheeks.

"Are you a pervert?" I asked as we left the toy shop.

"Ah.. no," he replied, "more like a... super pervert."

I looked down at the geisha dolls held in the bag at his side. I did love dolls.

"That's okay." I said eyeing the dolls.

We made four more stops before we returned at the hospital. He bought me new hair clips, a pretty bracelet, a new yukata as well as acquiring for himself four more interested young ladies.

When we did end up back at the hospital it was the same room, but with a new door. What was it like here that they had doors on standby?

Biwako took me into her office to change into one of those backless hospital gowns, before she led me into the exam room. A white eyed woman was waiting as they set me on the exam table. She puffed her eyes and stared, the kind of stare that feels like it see's through your clothes, I crossed my arms against my chest.

"It's the first chakra gate," Puffy Eyes reported, "I wouldn't say it's damaged, rather... it's differently made. The flaw allowing the chakra leak is well compensated, it probably developed during infancy. The gate are usually fully formed in the first three months, in this case the first gate may have over developed. Perhaps an environmental toxin? Something forced a sudden closure of the first gate, perhaps in the first few days of life. It's leaking at a slow but steady rate, it's pooling around the gate and saturating the surrounding tissue. Try introducing chakra to the system as you did before, I will monitor the effect."

Biwako and Jiraiya seemed relatively unphased by Puffy's report, it sounded... well it sounded like whatever was wrong had always been wrong and it hadn't bothered me yet so I wouldn't let it bother me now.

"Then let's begin. Suzu, I will do the same as before when I was healing your ankle." Biwako said as she placed her hands on my back.

I felt the same feeling as before, the world sharpened around me. Colors seemed brighter, everything was clearer, it was as if I was hearing for the first time, voices seemed alive. And then I heard that voice..._ 'Can you hear me? I'm Ann!'_. Who was Ann? Was I Ann?

"Sarutobi-san, your chakra is essentially pushing the chakra leaking from the gate into circulation." Puffy Eyes reported.

"Do you have any recommendations?" Jiraiya asked as Biwako withdrew her hands.

"It's hard to say for sure.. but I would like to to create a loop to put the chakra back behind the gate. Long term exposure to chakra beyond her own limitations is going to damage her body. I'd like to repair the gate, but if it's not damaged and this is the natural formation we may do more harm than good," Puffy Eyes told Jiraiya.

"I agree. Jiraiya, can you design a seal to adjust her chakra flow? I think the best thing would be to let it pool while she's awake and is actively using her chakra, and activate the seal to loop it back while she sleeps," Biwako asked.

"I can... I'd like to trace the path of the chakra leak and then again the path it takes when its forced into circulation.. also.. just how big is the leak and is it varying in intensity? Hyuuga-san, there's a brush behind you, use it to trace the chakra flow and mark any fluctuations," Jiraiya said, his hands resting reassuringly on my back.

Puffy Eyes slipped off my gown and held her ink and brush as Biwako once again fired up her glowy hands and reached out to me. I took a deep breath as her hands touched me and everything sharpened into focus.

_'You can hear me can't you? I'm Ann... I think I'm dreaming you. I'm very sick... and you are my dream.'_

I didn't answer the voice, I wasn't so far gone into this mad place that I would be speaking to bodiless voices. It faded fast anyway, in fact as soon as Biwako's hands withdrew the volume dialed right down. Definitely a direct link between Biwako's chakra and hearing the voice.

Puffy Eyes had been busy while I had been listening to Imaginary Ann. Spidery lines of ink trailed out from above my left eye, the first gate, they stretched all the way down too my toes, but were thickest and most numerous across my face and head. This was my chakra flow.

She wasn't the only busy bee either, Jiraiya had been writing on a large scroll for awhile now. It was covered in swirling circles and symbols, this was the seal?

Biwako and Puffy continued to trace my chakra pathway, they added multiple ink colors and with Jiraiya's assistance began making notations on different pathways. It took a bit to take shape, but I did finally I realize that they were copying the scroll he had made. The elaborate swirls on the scroll were taking shape across my skin in a shade of dark dark red ink that smelled faintly of blood. Ewww.

"Suzu, I'm going to use these seals to make you feel better. It might feel a little strange at first though, but I'll be right here." Jiraiya reassured, hands ruffling through my hair, the only uninked part of me.

Puffy Eyes and Biwako stepped back till they were in the doorway to her office, and it was just Jiraiya and I. He bit his right thumb and spread the blood across his fingertips before carefully laying his hand above my left eye where the bulk of the ink lay. Then I felt it, his chakra ghosting over me followed by a sharp tugging sensation and I was gone.

I was standing in front of an enormous white wall that stretched as far as my eyes could see, with just one gate in front of me. It was tall and open, just a crack. It looked as though the doors were poorly made, one overlapped the other and just wouldn't close all the way. I edged closer to the gate and peered between the cracks before stumbling back in fright.

There was someone on the other side looking at me.

_'I am Ann!'_

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_So clearly taking some liberties with characters... but hey.. that's what fanfiction is all about right? I couldn't find any mention of a clan for Jiraiya.. so I made one up to explain the fact that Suzu has inherited his facial markings. (God that makes him sound like a dog)_

_My mastery of Japanese is nonexistent so I am going to tentatively say 'Kurosawa' means 'Black Swamp', significance of which will come later. I thought about using a nice english name that I knew the meaning of like 'Jones' or 'Smith' but I thought not only would you all stone me, I would have to throw a few at myself too. lol_

_Huge thanks to spacecavy for reading this chapter.. at least 3x a day... without you it's not possible! Speaking of spacecavy though, anyone out there who enjoys self insert might enjoy her comedy 'WTB Permadeath' which I beta for her... though with my awful grammar and spelling that doesn't say much. She's quite brilliant though, much more than me.  
_

_Also... thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, followed or favorited. I tried to send responses to any questions, if I missed your questions just send me a PM._


	5. The Nanny

_DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon._

* * *

_'I am Ann'_

Ann? Imaginary Ann?

I edged back up to the crack in the gate and peered in. She didn't seem like anything that would normally come out of my imagination. She looked deathly thin with sunken eyes and short matted brown hair, her skin was ghostly pale and badly bruised and she was outfitted in same hospital style as me, a one-size-doesn't-fit-all shirt tied in the back and loose pants.

She reached out her hand through the opening in the gate, it was like a clawlike and bruised with IV tubing hanging unattached and useless off of it. I backed off slowly, out of her reach.

_'Who are you? Are you the girl I dream of? Come in here with me! Come visit with me!'_

Her clawing seemed more urgent and the gate opened just a little further. I ran, but no matter how far it felt like I was running the gate was always in the same place, with Imaginary Ann struggling to break out.

Running was clearly futile. I turned back and slowly approached the opening in the gate. She was still there, her frail arms straining against the gate as she tried to push it open.

"Who are you? Where are we?" I asked her.

_'I told you, I'm Ann and we are in my dream, or rather I am in my dream seeing as you are not real.'_She huffed as she pushed harder on the gate.

"I'm not anyone's dream," I told her, "and least of all yours, if anything.. you are my imagination."

_'We can test that... tell me something about me, if you imagined me then you should know everything I do.'_

She looked smug. But I could work this out, she was my dream.. so whatever I said was reality here. I could make her anything I wanted her to be.

"You are sick... with consumption. You have a mother, but no father and two sisters." There, that sounded like something I would dream up for a girl who looked as terrible as her.

_'Ha! You're wrong! I'm sick with Valley Fever, its a fungal infection, nothing at all like tuberculosis, which is bacterial. I have a father, but my mother died a few years ago and I have two brothers and one sister. So you see, you are the one who is imagined.' _

Ann must be a synonym for smug. The look on her face was infuriating.

"Really? Well I bet you don't know anything about-"

_'You're wrong!,' she interrupted, 'I know everything about you. Your name is Kurosawa Suzuki, your dad is Jiraiya the Toad Sannin and your mum is a geisha named Umeki, although... I think there is something going on with all of that. Anyway, your first word was 'grandmother' and your favorite color is purple. Your favorite hobby is gardening, you've been particularly obsessed with a Rosemary patch you were secretly cultivating at the okiya.'_

That was all very accurate, but if this was my dream she would know everything about me that I knew about me. Didn't exactly prove any points... except the business with Jiraiya being a toad, but I could have heard that anywhere and simply not consciously realized, or I was just making it up. None of this proved anything.

"You're still wrong and I won't believe you", I sat down in front of her and crossed my arms as stubbornly as I could. I wasn't going to take this from myself.

_'Well aren't you a little brat, and you're messing up the story, too... But if you are going to change everything then you need to hurry up and get on top of things. It's a bit of a mess back here but I've been trying to sort through what I remember about the show, I never did read the books...'_

I could see she was still talking, her cracked lips working up a storm of words but I couldn't hear any of them. Finally the gate was disappearing.

The sensation of feeling again was sudden, as if I had been floating outside myself and someone had wrenched me back in. I let out a small sigh of relief, I was me again, Imaginary Ann was gone.

"Suzu?" Another bodiless voice, but at least this one sounded familiar.

I blindly reached for the blankets I could feel weighing down on me and pulled them up over me, I needed some real sleep. A large hand enclosed mine and pulled the blankets back down.

"Suzu, you need to get up if you're awake. You've been sleeping three days now."

"Tou-san, let me sleep." I said, burying my face into the pillow.

"No. You need to get up and eat, and even better you have visitors waiting for you."

"I've been sleeping three days? Why?" I asked.

"The seal is meant to disperse the pooled chakra that your gate leaks, either by looping it back through the gate or dispersing it into circulation. You had a lot of chakra that had built up from the leak, it's why you've been feeling so bad." He replied, his voice was deep and soft and I was already ready to drift back off, blankets or no.

He was having none of that though, he pulled me upright easily and then left me to my devices. No going back to sleep now. I crawled out of bed, stopping for only a moment to notice I had been changed into pink butterfly pyjamas. Peeking around the doors I finally spotted them in the living room. A blonde ninja and a little boy just a few years older than me.

"Sensei, you said I wouldn't have anymore babysitting missions!" the silver haired boy complained.

"Well.." the blond was scratching his head nervously, "this one is special, sensei's daughter needs a seal master to watch her for the next few days."

The little boy gave him what could only be assumed to be a hard glare. Only his eyes were visible above the edge of a mask that covered the rest of his face.

"Kakashi," the blonde said with a sigh, "sensei's daughter is very sick. It's our duty to as shinobi to assist our comrades. Jiraiya-sama is a fellow shinobi and Suzuki-chan is just a bit younger than you, if we help her get better maybe one day she will be a strong shinobi who will protect this village as well."

I wasn't sick at all and I hadn't ever needed a babysitter, and I certainly didn't need one now. Who did this guy think he was?! A grown woman needing watching and by a little boy no less! No.. no.. I was only four, I wasn't grown at all. Why would I think that I was? I shook my head roughly to clear away the remnants of my sleepiness.

I hand came down on my shoulder and I jumped in surprise. It was Jiraiya, pushing me further into the room and closer to our 'visitors'.

The silver haired boy was staring at me somewhat resentfully while the blonde had jumped up eagerly and made his way over. He crouched down in front and me and I slipped free of Jiraiya's grip and twisted around to stand partially hidden behind his leg.

The blonde felt like gale force winds carefully contained, but no less powerful. He did not, however, burn or itch, as I had thought he would. Come to think of it, I didn't feel the usual oppressive atmosphere, I felt great, better than I had in... well in so long that I couldn't really remember. Was this the seal? Jiraiya really was good.

"Suzu-chan," Jiraiya said. "This is my student Minato and his student Kakashi. Your oji-san and I have a job to do for the Hokage and I'm going to be gone for a few days."

What? No... I mean.. There's no need to be clingy, but I didn't want to be left behind with all these strangers. I tightened my grip on his leg. I wanted to go with him, but he was a ninja... the sort of jobs he did... likely they were not something I wanted to know about.

"Suzu, I'm more than flattered that you don't want me to go, I love that you want me here. But I still have to leave. We've been waiting for you to wake up before we left." He inclined his head in the direction of the door where I could see Orochi-oji waiting with two packed bags and a bland expression.

"You'll come back?" I questioned.

He nodded, "of course I will, nothing could keep me away."

I released his leg and held my arms up in the universal 'pick-me-up' sign. He quickly complied and I hugged him fiercely. Who was this guy that I felt so safe with him? Like I had known him my whole life? Really! Did all people experience this with their parents? I had never felt like this about Umeki.

He put me back down and I slinked over to the door. Orochi-oji had an inscrutable expression on his face. I gave him the 'pick-me-up' sign and he gave me a raised eyebrow. I sighed, a tough guy huh? I grabbed his leg in a tight embrace, I don't think he could've shaken me off if he'd tried... which I was rather afraid he might. His eyebrow was still raised in an expression that probably meant, 'what do you think you're doing?'.

I let him go and the two of them left with a few parting words to Minato and the surly Kakashi. Umeki, Yumiko, Yuuka and now Jiraiya; it looked like a life of being left behind. Minato was still crouched down on the floor smiling at me and his young partner still glowering.

'Minato-san, Kakashi-san' I addressed them, bowing my head just so.

"Ano.. Suzu-chan, would you like to play? I'm very good at ninja if you want Kakashi and I to play with you?" Minato said, still smiling that same eager, goofy grin.

Play ninja? Pretend to be the big bad soldiers that haunted the borderlands with war and bloodshed? No thanks. There were much more productive things to be doing.

"No thank-you, Minato-san. I'd like to practice my calligraphy now." I replied as I hurried to get my supplies before he could suggest anything else.

I still had the calligraphy set from the okiya and I set it out across the table with my new dolls propped up to watch, Minato's head resting on the table between them and a bored look on his face as he watched me. I'd seen the paperwork Biwako-san filled out at the hospital and I carefully copied the strokes I had seen her make, this was my name _'__Kurosawa, Suzuki'. _

I repeated it again and again and again, till I had filled pages of paper and the kanji were beginning to look almost beautiful. It was like painting a picture. For something that was supposed to be work, it was surprisingly enjoyable.

"Her writing is neater than yours Kakashi. Maybe you should be practicing as well?" Minato said with a sly look in the direction of the pouting young man across the room.

I took a spare brush and extra practice paper and pushed them across the table, if he wanted to join he was welcome too. He didn't fall for Minato's obvious taunts though. In fact he didn't do anything all day but stare, except for the two trips he had made out to bring home lunch and dinner. This was apparently the kind of home where you ate a lot of take out.

My hands were sore by the time I quit, but I felt like I had won some small victory. Despite Minato's endless pestering I hadn't given in once. I did not need him to look after me; I could entertain myself.

When I was finally too exhausted to stay awake I wasn't sure what to do with myself. At the okiya I had napped with grandmother and then Konotori had put me to bed in Umeki's room... but there had never been men in the okiya. Was it okay to sleep with them in the house? If Jiraiya had left me with them it must be.

I hastily retreated to the bathroom where I washed as quickly as I could with every bottle and box I could find propped in front of the door to keep them out. It was the first chance I had to really look at my new ink. It was a simple design, a small daisy with seven petals and the kanji for sleep in the middle above my left eye. As far as tattoos went this didn't seem that bad at all.

Finishing my self-admiration I put on clean pjs and slipped into bed. Minato promptly pulled up a chair across from me and began to watch. Was he going to watch me sleep all night? I pulled the blankets up over my head but I could still feel his eyes on me.

"Minato-san, I can sleep by myself now. You don't have to watch me." I said from beneath the pile of blankets.

"Ahh.. Suzu-chan, I need to watch that seal you have. It activates when you sleep and I need to make sure it works well, we don't want you asleep for another three days." He sounded about as awkward as I felt. Watching people sleep was weird.

I closed my eyes and tried, I really did. But I could feel him sitting there even when I couldn't see him. The maelstrom that was his presence didn't fade in the slightest. I tried side sleeping, back sleeping, belly sleeping; nothing worked. I finally grabbed my dolls and stormed past him down the hallway into tou-san's room. There was a lot more bed to hide in and Minato's presence didn't seem quite so big in here.

When I did sleep I didn't dream of the gate at all. Instead I dreamt of Ann, not like before when she had spoken to me, instead I dreamt of her life. I dreamt mostly of writing. Ann had been taught to use pencils instead of brushes like I used and she had been an obnoxious student. She insisted on using the incorrect grip and writing characters that were either too small or too large. She seemed to delight in infuriating her teachers.

Minato was there in the morning, exactly as I had left him when I had fallen asleep. Perched on the edge of the bed, surrounded by tou-san's scrolls and still smiling but with dark raccoon eyes. He served another take out breakfast and made a second attempt to engage me in a 'fun' game of ninja after I had eaten. I guess he could see that I wasn't going to buy into it anymore today than I had yesterday and so he slept on the couch after assigning Kakashi to watch me.

At first I settled back down with the calligraphy set practicing three characters I had seen her write over and over _'A-n-n_'. When my hands were cramped from two days of long practice I tried playing with the dolls, but really it was only fun if you had plenty of kimono to dress them in, mine only had the ones they came with.

I settled for practicing dance. I started with a cautious Reaching Stork, careful to fully flex the ankle that I had stumbled on. It felt fine though, Biwako was a good healer. I moved into the more complex stretches and finally grabbed a fan from my room and moved into full dances as Kakashi watched, his expression hidden under his mask.

My favorite dances were the ones exclusive to our okiya. The tutor Konotori and I had shared had taught us many complex and beautiful dances, but the ones we learned from Honoka were strangely alluring and nonsensical. There were components to them that made very little sense at all, but seemed to fit the dance still. The edges of the fan sliced through the air in purposeful strokes, though I really hadn't yet determined the purpose. There was no sexual appeal in the movements, the fans were angled poorly and you could see little of the elaborate designs that decorated them, and while the movements were gracious, they didn't flow like a dance should.

I practiced until my legs were cramped as badly as my hands and then I settled onto the couch across from Minato, averting my eyes from Kakashi's gaze. Staring was terribly rude and it felt even worse knowing he could see my face, but I couldn't see his. I resisted the urge to snap open a fan and hold it between us, to hide my expressions. Instead I sat with my flower books under Kakashi's supervision through the morning and past another take-out lunch before inspiration hit. I fetched back my three new dolls and an old one Umeki had given me before setting up on the floor in the lounge.

"Minato-san, Kakashi-san, you'll play dolls with me right?" I asked as innocently as I could manage.

There horrified expressions signified my victory.

"Kashi-chan," Zuki, my doll, squeaked to Kakashi's doll, "I found some lovely flowers for you."

I leaned my little doll forward, her hand stuffed with mint leaves I had pilfered from the kitchen. _Mint, suspicion. _Kakashi's doll was as unmoving as he was.

"Kashi-chan, don't you like my flowers? Aren't they beautiful? Won't you braid them into your hair?" Zuki addressed her again, in a voice quite similar to my own.

Minato's elbow lightly thumped into Kakashi's side and his doll reached forward and took the mint leaves.

"Thank-you, Zuki-san." Kashi-chan replied in flat monotone.

"Oh! Kashi-chan," Zuki squealed, "your voice is so deep! Are you sick?"

I kept them playing for the afternoon as Zuki, Nato and Kashi enjoyed such fantastic adventures as gossiping, dancing, reciting poems, brushing and braiding hair. It ended in a fantastic row as Zuki insisted on braiding mint leaves into not just Kashi's hair, but Kakashi's as well. The boy had run up the wall and settled on the ceiling, refusing to come down while Minato had only laughed. All in all it felt like it had been a great victory on my part.

Dinner was more take-out and Kakashi continued to hide his face under the mask by devouring his food at a rate that was both unhealthy and sickening. Minato chattered endlessly about everything and anything, forcibly drawing a reluctant Kakashi into conversation. I watched their exchange and contributed when I could, but ninja related topics were something I had little experience with.

I was surprisingly eager to head to bed. This time going straight to Jiraiya's room with Minato in tow. He took his seat by the bed and I crawled underneath the blankets after carefully arranging Zuki, Nato and Kashi on the pillows. The sooner I slept, the sooner I would wake up, and tomorrow was one day closer to Jiraiya's return. He was a puzzle that I needed to work out, there was just something about him that was so familiar.

Jiraiya wasn't there when I woke up, or the next day after. Instead it was Minato, sometimes with Kakashi and sometimes without.

I eventually caved to his game ideas and we played several rounds of 'Ninja' during which a big bad Minato would kidnap me and Kakashi would chase us all across the village at speeds that rivalled my pony rides with Jiraiya. The races always ended at the ninja training grounds where Kakashi would train and Minato insisted on teaching me how to use the blunted knives, _kunai_, that Jiraiya had bought. They were easier to use than I had expected, some of the wrist movements were similar to the fan tosses Honoka had taught us.

We took lunch at Yuuka's tea house, where I was allowed to eat in the kitchens with Sachiko while Minato and Kakashi were relegated to the main tables. Sachiko was her usual chatty self, she was well up to date on the latest gossip and apparently knew that I had gone to live with _'__the toad sannin, Jiraiya', _who was apparently quite famous in Konoha.

Sachiko, as it turned out, quite fancied Minato and filled me in on his love life as well. There was a girl from Uzu that she thought he might be involved with but wasn't sure about, apparently the girl didn't move in Akimichi circles. Kakashi she knew even more about; he was a prodigy and the son of the White Fang, a hero.

"I'm not surprised you know them thought Suzu, Jiraiya-sama teaching Minato-san and all." She said dreamily. "Will you be taking lessons here Suzu?"

"Lessons here?" I said jumping up in excitement.

"I thought I heard Yumiko-san and kaa-san talking about it. Kaa-san offers some training here. You know she was a geisha once, and she still teaches a lot of girls. We hold classes upstairs every morning before the tea house opens." She said, eyes still focused on Minato through the open doorway.

I loved my lessons at the okiya... if I could take them again there. I was certainly going to. I needed to speak with tou-san about it. What if he said no, though?

"Sachiko... what time are the lessons?" I was going to go no matter what.

"Two hours before the academy classes start, a lot of the future kunoichi attending the academy come to kaa-sans classes." Sachiko replied.

She was still staring at Minato who had long since finished eating, Kakashi as well. I sighed.

"Thank you for lunch Sachiko-san. I think they're waiting for me. I had better go."

I let Minato carry me back on his shoulders as I thought about what Sachiko had said, the kunoichi trained with Yuuka-san. Jiraiya wanted me to be a shinobi; why else would be buy me kunai? He was going to say yes to this, if I was going to kunoichi classes he couldn't refuse.


	6. For Cavy

_DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon._

_Just a short chapter to let you know I'm still alive, just busy with a combination of 17 units, my job, NCLEX review and the guy I like. Should have more free time in mid-September. Thanks for all your patience. _

_- P_

* * *

Jiraiya took four more days to return.

I spent all four with Minato and Kakashi. We alternated between playing with my dolls and racing across rooftops, me in my brightest kimono and fanciest hair clips wailing for Prince Kakashi to rescue me from the horrible Minato. I kept practicing my calligraphy which turned into a fierce competition with Kakashi, which I consistently won.

The night before his return I dreamed of the gate again. My eyes closed and when they opened I was standing in front of it. She was there too, half her body wedged through the gate now. She looked as ghastly as she had the last time.

_'Oh! It's you again! Well look, I've opened it soo much, you must come in now. It's awful boring in here!'_

"I don't think I'll be doing that," I replied as I moved just beyond her reach and peered around her at what lay beyond the gate.

It was a large room, cluttered with shelves and books and mismatched artwork. And there in the far back was another figure, I could barely make out a tall hat and as I leaned in closer she grabbed me. I felt a sharp tug and I was behind the gate.

I scrambled to get back out but she pulled away from the gate and it slammed shut, or as shut as it could be. From this side I could clearly see the gate didn't close, couldn't close. One door of the gate overlapped the other by a good margin, and beyond that it appeared as though Ann had been placing wedges to hold it open further. A stack of colorful books held it open a good 5 or 6 inches. She had been busy.

_'What do you think? It looks like a bit of mess, but really everything sort of belongs where it is.'_

I ignored her in favor of the gate, it was still open enough for me to wedge through. I leaned forward to run through the gap and woke up. I simply woke up and there he was, Jiraiya, sitting on the edge of the bed where I had left Minato.

"Tou-san!" I shouted as I struggled free of blankets someone had tucked around me.

With one tug he pulled me out of my nest and I threw myself on him.

"Your job was okay?" I asked as I surveyed his worn appearance, he looked well but traveled and tired.

"A complete success," he replied, "How did you like Minato and Kakashi-chan?"

"Minato-san watched me sleep every night and he always ordered take-out he never cooked anything! And Kakashi-chan played dolls with me, but he's not very good at dolls, he's better at ninja. I still won though because Minato-san let me be on his team and he is the best at ninja." I couldn't stop grinning, even if I won by default it had felt great.

"Minato had a lot to say as well, you know", he said with the voice of man who's holding something back, "He told me your seal is functioning, that the last two nights its worked without adjustment, but he thinks that as your chakra reserves grow that it may need to be reconstructed. He also told me you have fine calligraphy and that you braid very well, and you know the meanings of all your flowers. He thought you might have something to ask me though. Do you?"

I did, I really did.

"Sachiko told me I could.. or no she said that there were classes at the tea house, like the ones I had in the okiya... I wanted to go to the dance lessons like I used to with Konotori." It felt like my throat had closed up and I couldn't say anymore. Living here was sometimes fun, it seemed sort of like what the tourists visiting our district experienced, something wonderful and unique, but not home at all.

"I thought you might want to. Akimichi-san already spoke to me about it and Yumiko-san might have mentioned it before she left. I already made arrangements for you to take written lessons at the Academy as well. So you'll be back in school in no time at all." He said with a sort of nervous smile.

"The academy?" I asked.

"I know you want to be a geisha, Suzu, so you can dance, but a kunoichi is just a different kind of dancer. I think you might like it, if you gave it a try," He offered.

I had already prepared myself to negotiate for the dance lessons with attendance at the Academy so it wasn't difficult to agree with him. None of the shinobi I had seen in the village had been anything like the figments from my nightmares, instead they had just seemed normal. As normal as a shinobi could be anyway.

"I already thought about being a kunoichi.. do you think I could try it for just a little bit and then decide?"

I don't think I could've done anything to make him more excited.

"You'll love it Suzu-chan. Did you know my Aunt was a kunoichi? She died when I was young but I still remember her, she looked a lot like you and she loved dancing as well. If she was still alive she would teach you our clan techniques the way she taught me."

He settled himself in on the bed then and pulled the blankets around us as he began a series of stories about the Kurosawa that would last the entire week it would take for my lessons to start. I spent what felt like every spare minute with my new dolls replaying the stories of the great kunoichi of the Kurosawa. My favorite was his own grandmother who had been one the first of our clan to come to Konoha, she had saved the daimyos life by posing as a dancer in his court. She had, he said, caught the assassins blades in between her fans mid-dance and never missed a step. I held my own fans with a new reverence, maybe I could be just like her.

When lessons did start they were early in the morning and Jiraiya would carry me there on his shoulders only letting me down when we passed the threshold, and then walking me all the way to the open door of Yuuka's classroom.

The upstairs room I'd slept in when I first arrived in Konoha was not for private parties as I had first thought, but was her primary dance room. Yuuka had nineteen students including myself, the oldest of which was a twenty-four year old chuunin and the youngest, besides myself, was seven year old civilian whose mother sold the best kimono in Konoha. I was almost five, so I was definitely old enough, if Kakashi was a genin and he was five, I was only a few months behind, right?

The lessons themselves were fairly easy. Every class would start with dance lessons, followed by focused lessons that alternated days of the week. Yuuka taught alternating classes on advanced Ikebana which built on the academy curriculum, as well as kimono wear and care, shamisen, calligraphy, meal service and conversation and a private class where kunoichi came to speak about experiences and share tips and tricks.

I would be allowed to attend only the dance classes for my first year. Three of the girls in my age range were practicing the first forms for stretching and toning muscles, they moved with a sort of jolting roughness that probably came from beating a wooden post at the academy. The young civilian girl was inexperienced but had a much more graceful stance. I was already passed the basic dance routines and beginning the steps for advanced dance, well beyond my peers. For that reason I felt sort of out of place, while they were practicing general forms I was working with Yuuka one on one to modify complex dances for my smaller body size.

Jiraiya was too busy to pick me up after class, he was an important shinobi. Escorting me from the tea house to the academy and supervising the hour I had between the two was instead a D rank mission. Some D-ranks are well circulated, like gardening or running errands, but when working consistently with the same target a regular shinobi is preferred.

When class ended each day the other girls remained behind for secondary lessons while I grabbed my school bag and raced down the stairs to meet my minder.

"Kakashi-chan!," I called as I stumbled on the steps to get to him.

"Hatake-san, you should call me Hatake-san. I'm the shinobi protecting you, not your playmate," he whined.

"That's okay Kakashi-chan, you can be both!," I said as I held out my book bag, "Please carry my bag for me Hatake-san!"

He took the bag with an annoyed look, just another happy piece of our regular routine. I grabbed his hand to hold him in place next me lest he make for the rooftops. Walking with Kakashi was like going out with your dog, you had to have a leash on him to keep him close or who knew where he would end up.

Jiraiya had enrolled me at the academy, but only to attend the written portion of the classes, I would stay for the first three hours of the day and when the regular students began their taijutsu lessons Kakashi would pick me up and take me home. Jiraiya had explained that some clan children learned their techniques at home, and I would be one of them. It was fine to learn history, writing, math and shinobi law with the general ranks but I would need more specialized training, the same that his father had given him before his death.

A weeks worth of bedtime stories had explained a lot about the Kurosawa clan. The furthest reaches of clan history were somewhat of a blur, the Kurosawa was thought to be an offshoot of the Senju. The only thing known with certainty though was that we were tied by strong contracts to Mount Myoboku. Before the formation of the Hidden Villages the Kurosawa Clan had resided in the marshes at the foot of the mountain, it was my ancestors who had written the great contract with the toads in their blood. For this reason, he had explained, I had been born a toad summoner. All members of the Kurosawa clan were born with their names on the first contract that still resided with the toads in Mount Myoboku. When the Hidden Villages had formed the clan had already been decimated by war, what remained of the Kurosawa had followed the Senju here to Konoha and slowly wasted away.

Jiraiya was the last of the clan aside from myself. His father and older brother had both died on missions when he was still a child and his younger cousin had passed away more recently in the war. It was for that reason that I required a babysitter at all; should anything happen to Jiraiya I was the last connection between the village and Mount Myoboku. A connection that Jiraiya has been proud to tell me was essential, only the Kurosawa clan head could allow outsiders to sign the toad contract and without a living member of the Kurosawa clan, in whose blood the contract had been formed, the contract itself was void and there would be no toad summoning at all.

This made me a precious commodity. I was like Kakashi, who was the only heir to the Hatake and the clans fabled white chakra so it only made sense that Kakashi would be my 'protector'. His own shadow guard of ANBU were shared by an unspoken contract for these hours minimizing the use of top shinobi on missions that garnered no financial gain to the village. It was one of the first lessons in the Academy curriculum, before you ever learned to calculate the correct angle to throw a weapon you learned the correct formulas for calculating mission cost. If no profit was made, there would be no hidden village. It was therefore essential that shinobi be trained from the beginning to conserve resources and maximize the profit gained from every mission.

My own math was well advanced. It was one of those things that I often dreamed about. I would wake up desperate to escape sleep and what seemed like nightmares of math, classrooms with hundreds of students and a man performing one complex equation after another for hours on end. It did seem as though during my sleep I must have answered all my own questions though, because the in the morning the equations that I might have struggled with always came much more easily. And beyond just my nightmares I had Kakashi as a tutor. For the hour before the Academy lessons he reveled in showing off his superior mathematical mind. Being the little genius that he was this came as easily to him as it did to me, but he had already graduated and these were old lessons for him and a chance to show that though my calligraphy might be superior he could perform complex calculations at least three times as fast as I could.

And that's how we came to be here at the front of the Academy, Kakashi perched on the railing firing off mathematical equations, myself sprawled across the steps fingers splayed in the air as I used them as a quick counting tool to try and keep up and of course, somewhere we couldn't see were three masked shinobi watching and presumably laughing.

"Kakashi... how many chuunin are they sending on this mission? I think this would be more cost-effective if you sent a tokubetsu jonin. The cost for a jonin and three chunnin could cover the cost of two tokubetsu jonin, one for each aspect of the mission. You would lower the risk of detection and the chunnin could be applied to any mission while a specialty shinobi may only qualify for this one. Am I right?"

"You are, but I would have performed the risk assessment differently. The mission is highly ranked for secrecy. You should have asked for more specific information before choosing a shinobi to send. What if failure comes at the cost of war? Then it would be better to send-"

"Okay!" I cut him off. "Its about time you walked me to my seat and we haven't fully covered risk assessment formulas anyway. So I don't know them all yet."

He let me pull him down from the railing and I tugged him inside behind me.

* * *

A.N. - Its a bit early for Suzu to have any romance or anything. But I am open to suggestions if anyone has any to make.

Edit - So a lot of suggestions for Kakashi. Anything else?


	7. Game of Puppets

_DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon._

_A.N. - Another really short chapter with a tiny time jump, things should start to pick up in the next chapter or two. My big tests are in exactly one week and all this was just to work out some stress, so wish me luck! :)_

_Also.. all the fanfiction floating around between me and my twin has inspired my roommate to get in on it. If you like WoW at all you might enjoy her story 'Helena's Apprentice' bu faerynone._

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Two days before my fifth birthday I had already been in Konoha four months. I was well used to Yuuka's classes and the Academy curriculum both and in the excitement of new places and things time must have passed in a blur. It had certainly gone somewhere I hadn't seen anyway because Kakashi's declaration that he would not be attending a children's party caught me by surprise.

"Who would invite you to a party anyway Kakashi?!" I retorted with a grin.

He paused mid-step and looked at me before slowly pulling a pink envelope out of his pocket. It looked familiar; I think most of my classmates had had them at one point during the day. Was there some sort of preteen event that I needed to be aware of? I held out a hand for the envelope and he obliged, his expression was completely unreadable behind the mask but his eyes looked.. humored.

I had already been opened and I pulled an out an elegant pink and white card with the kanji for oil stamped in the corner, it opened to an impressive block of script...

_"We would be honored by your attendance at the the_

_fifth birthday celebration of Kurosawa, Suzuki."_

The card went on for a bit explaining that my birthday party would be held at the Hatake Estate, exactly two days from the current date at approximately 1300 hours. There wasn't a deadline to R.S.V.P. which made me briefly wonder if there was an option to decline at all.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, still astounded by my previously forgotten birthday.

"I got mine last week from Tou-san. He said there was a stack at the missions desk and Hokage-sama had been handing them out at the council meeting."

"I'm having a party?!" I gasped in surprise. No one had mentioned this at all, and I hadn't had any parties at the okiya.

Kakashi grunted an affirmative and moved to dismiss what was becoming an uncomfortable topic for the stoic boy. I held my ground and tightened my grip on the harness he wore to hold his tanto, he looked back at me and I could see he was debating the merits of pushing me off versus the downsides to a civil conversation.

'Sit boy!' I commanded imperiously as he let me pull him over to a park bench. He obliged me with a lazy air and crossed his arms over his chest expectantly. If I never got any pets aside from the toads then Kakashi would be enough, he brought cute to a whole new level. I sat down next to him and politely turned to face him, my hands folded in my lap.

"So its your house right? What are the decorations like?" I asked shyly.

He leapt up in exasperation before I could grab his harness and threw his hands in the air.

"They're decorations! I don't spend all day out in the yard looking at them, and besides I don't think its done yet. If you want to see it go look at it yourself."

"Was that an invitation to visit?!" I squealed.

He looked frozen in horror. We had been quasi-friends for almost four months of forced interaction and I had never once received an invitation the Hatake Estate. He had come over to the apartment many times; including one special occasion in which I had made him hide with me under Jiraiya's bed while Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Kakashi's Dad and the She-Beast Tsunade had played cards. That woman was frightening, and apparently an abysmal poker player.

While he was frozen in indecision I grabbed his harness and started moving, I wasn't going to turn down this opportunity to see both Kakashi's home and potentially a chance to properly meet Hatake-sama.

The Hatake Estate wasn't anything like the Uchiha or Hyuuga compounds. It was an averaged sized property, with a traditional style japanese home and a small training clearing hidden at the far back of the grounds. There was a second piece of property outside of Konoha proper where the Hatake farmland was located. Hatake-sama kept a retainer to manage it and Kakashi knew very little else that he was willing to share. It was a constant source of curiosity seeing what the other clans were like. The Kurosawa were of about equivalent size and stature to the Hatake but our clan holdings were all abandoned at the base of Mt. Myoboku, protected only by the lingering fear of the fire marshes and the great toads on the mountaintop.

I had been wanting to see the inside of Kakashi's home since he had first left me standing outside the gate weeks ago. It had seemed just a smidge familiar, not like before Jiraiya placed his seal when I had had nightmares of places I hadn't seen at all. Instead it was if I couldn't remember something terribly important about the Hatake clan.

I rubbed my hand across my daisy seal and I tried to forget about what I was forgetting as I let Kakashi lead me through the gates and onto the estate. Kakashi was a brat, but no more than me, and more importantly he was my only real friend, I wouldn't let any silly dreams ruin that and instead I focussed on the party decorations.

Pink and white lanterns had been strung between trees and there were beautiful pots waiting to be filled with flowers leading up to the main house. Inside had been set up for traditional dining, enough space for at least a hundred guests, some of the screen doors had been carefully taken down to make the guest area larger. It was a humbling effort that they had taken on my behalf. I glanced at Kakashi from the corner of my eye and the slight swell in his chest and the line of shoulder all read pride; he had been working on this too.

"It's beautiful Kakashi, thank you.' I said with a slight bow.

"I wouldn't just be thanking him, we've had a few genin teams working on this, not just his." The voice was from the kitchen doorway and looking over I could see Sakumo-sama casually leaning on it as he watched us.

"Hatake-sama" I greeted, bowing respectfully.

He stepped forward acknowledging us both with a slight ruffling of our hair.

"Don't be too formal Suzu, you're not old enough for that yet. And Kakashi.." he said turning to look at my companion, "Minato sent a note to let you know he'll be gone a few days so you'll have to settle for training with your old man."

If that was supposed to be a disappointment it sure didn't seem like one. Hatake Sakumo was the legendary White Fang, training with him would be an honor for anyone and twice the pleasure for Kakashi who was clearly reining in a happy eye crinkle.

"Now the two of you get out to the back and play. I have business in the house." He said as he walked us to the back door and nodded in the direction of their training grounds.

Kakashi and I turned and bowed slightly in unison and then he took off towards the training ground with me trailing behind him.

"Slow down Kakashi! I'm a lady, I can't run like that!" I shouted ahead to him.

He was already beating on a training post by the time I arrived, playing to Kakashi was another word for training. Actual play wasn't a concept I think he understood at all. It was probably why I was so determined to make our friendship work, Kakashi was a genius like me and neither of us knew how to really play. I had thought I knew how to have fun but my classmates had disabused me of that notion. I liked to use my dolls to reenact the dinner parties that Umeki would describe to me, I would try to put new words into context and memorize fun stories so I could retell them later. It was both interesting and fun, but apparently not age appropriate play. It was horribly difficult when the other girls showed no interest in the correct way of dressing them and the proper table etiquette and instead had the dolls play out elaborate fantasies involving some cute five year old they liked, most often Kakashi himself. The civilian girls found him especially cute and often stood with me after class while I waited for him to walk me home. It was strangely pleasing on days when Orochi-oji came instead and they all scattered at the sight of him.

'Playing' with Kakashi on the other hand might not be full of thrilling adventure but at least on the occasions he could be convinced to sit for tea or practice a dance he took in every detail and imitated it perfectly. In exchange, though, were days like today where he would pound the training posts and I would take one across from him and do my best to imagine that every blow I landed was just another part of an elaborate dance.

"Are your birthday parties usually this extravagant?" I asked as I carefully wrapped my hands with bandages from his kit.

"No. It's not just about your birthday," he responded, "you've been officially named the Kurosawa heir. My third birthday, when I was named heir, was big like this, but the last two have been fairly small."

That made sense then. Jiraiya had certainly been hinting enough about my future responsibility as clan head, however small the clan might be. Being born a Kurosawa was something he was proud of and he seemed determined to instill that same pride in me. I had to confess his efforts weren't in vain. Last night's bedtime story had been his own childhood adventure to Mt. Myoboku when he had accidently reversed summoned himself to the toads. Toads didn't have the same appeal as Kakashi's puppies or the fabled Uchiha kittens but I couldn't get them out of my head. Perhaps a toad fixation was genetic too.

"That makes sense. What sort of party was yours?" I asked.

He gave me his exasperated eye scrunch and slowed to down to emphasize the next few strikes he made. That could be interpreted as 'shut up and keep training'.

I slipped into the rhythm of Honoka's playful 'Mocking Baboon' dance and tried with each soft strike against the post to force my errant chakra into the strike. Perhaps the only thing I admired about that she-beast Tsunade was her precise chakra control that allowed her such inhuman strength. Jiraiya had spent an afternoon helping me to transform the simple dance of playful taps into what I was scared to admit might be its intended purpose, a deadly sequence of chakra enforced strikes. Pushing enough chakra into my strikes to make them deadly wasn't happening yet, but Jiraiya and Orochi-oji had both seemed pleased that I could get any into my hands at all.

It wasn't really that difficult, part of the Reaching Stork stretches was imagining the flow of the energy in your body as you moved and using it to balance yourself and center your mind in the dance. Honoka had said that the most beautiful dances were not just with your body but with your mind and spirit as well, using your inner being to maintain balance and focus during a performance. It was important to train yourself to dance with everything you had, knowing every movement your body made and being also aware of all that happened around you.

"Kakashi," I said, not pausing my strikes at all, "Orochi-oji showed me a new game to play with my dolls. Can we play later? After we finish this game?"

He didn't even hesitate, a short sharp denial to girly games was always instantaneous with him.

"Oji-san said he learned it from a Suna-shinobi. He said it will help with chakra control. He even brought me new dolls, a boy one and a girl one. He says they're not dolls though, they're puppets."

I could hear his strikes slowing a little as he considered the potential of a chakra training exercise I had learnt from Orochimaru the Snake Sannin. It certainly had more masculine appeal when you described it that way then when you called it a tea party.

"Puppets?" He questioned lightly.

"Mmhmm. He said he had them made based off a design he saw during the war. He said your Dad would know how to use them if I had trouble. Do you suppose your Sakumo-oji will practice with me if you can't?" I asked as innocently as I could.

Again without pausing from his attack he lightly hummed what I had come to recognize as an affirmative response. We would play my games later.

I hummed an affirmative back at him and focused on each strike I landed, trying to visualize my chakra flow. Honoka had always encouraged us to visualize our inner energies like a perfect flowing river but Jiraiya had suggested that the Kurosawa chakra was more like oil than water. He'd even fetched chakra paper to show me mine was just like his, soggy but also alight with flame; we were an unlikely combination of equal parts fire and water. The unique chakra makeup probably came from living on wet marshes containing pockets of explosive gas and then was further cemented by our relationship with the toads.

I had, since Jiraiya's explanation of my chakra nature, been infinitely curious about how the nature of chakra affected the body. What was the difference between my dual nature of fire and water and Kakashi's extreme lightening sensitivity? And the big question, if Tsunade-beast was the first hokage's granddaughter did this mean she would have inherited a compatible earth and water nature? Unfortunately for me this didn't come as easily as arithmetic and coding and scrolls on these topics were beyond my reading abilities.

Pushing as much force as I could muster I hit the post one last time and stepped back, of course it remained undamaged. I leaned back against the post to wait out Kakashi's practice and carefully unwrapped my hands. Completely undamaged, I sighed in relief. Scarring on the hands could be very telling of the ninja career.

I pulled out the new dolls that Orochi-oji had brought back from his last trip for me. They were wooden ninja, quite different from my usual porcelain geisha dolls, neither had a distinct gender but one was larger and heavier. I reached for the lighter doll, the one I had dubbed the female of the two, and carefully laid her out in front of me. The aim of this game was to make my dolls move without touching them. I had to affix a string of chakra to the doll and the use it like the strings of a puppet.

I touched the tip of my index finger to the top of her head and imagined tying a knot made of chakra strings to the little hook oji-san had nailed into her for me. As usual I couldn't get past tying the knot or attaching my chakra and I was so focused it was a surprise when I glanced up to see why the world had gone dim only to see Kakashi blocking out the sun as he stared down at my doll and I. I wordlessly pushed the heavy doll towards him.

"I haven't named this one yet Kakashi, but I promise he won't braid your hair if you don't break him." I said remembering poor Zuki-chan's recent demise after another attempt to tame Kakashi's wild locks. I would miss that doll.

"I'm supposed to think of a birthday gift for you." He said while carefully inspecting his doll, his eyes purposefully directed away from me.

"Oh," I replied, leaving him plenty of room to expand.

"It has to be formal enough to be from one clan heir to another, but tousan said it also needs to reflect the strong ties between our clans so it should be meaningful as well." He said, still carefully avoiding any eye contact.

It was a relief to see that his chakra strings weren't sticking any better than mine. I had had the dolls a month now and couldn't make them do anything, showing them to Kakashi before I could use them was tantamount to admitting defeat but I had been out of ideas for making them work on my own. Speaking of doing things in your own though...

"Sakumo-oji made finding my gift a mission, didn't he?" I asked.

A lack of response in this case definitely denoted an affirmative answer.

"I'm surprised you haven't just asked me... unless the parameters of your mission prevent you from interrogating me?"

Again he ignored my statement. This was hardly a surprise, whatever errant gene had broken Kakashi's sense of fun had reinforced his sense of duty and following mission parameters to the letter was just like him. He'd eventually work it out, hopefully by asking Sachiko rather than my classmates.. although it might be a gift in and of itself to watch Kakashi navigate his miniature fangirls.

* * *

AN - Anyone got any guesses as to what Kakashi will give Suzu?


	8. A Very Political Birthday

_DISCLAIMER – I don't own anything except a beat up Volvo station wagon._

_A.N. - Thanks so much to everybody who's reviewed, it's really encouraging. _

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When little girls dream of birthday parties they dream of faerie lights and pretty dresses and cake and presents. I had a lot of those things, there were lanterns everywhere, but it was still daylight so while they fluttered in the breeze there wasn't any glowing really. My kimono wasn't as pretty as I would've like, but it was red and grey, the colors of the Kurosawa clan, our crest the only decoration. There were sweets everywhere, but no specific cake I think that was designated for me and certainly no candles, the variety was excellent though and better than anything I had ever been offered before.

The gifts would be what really stuck out, there was a veritable mountain of them. Each guest brought a beautifully wrapped box that Jiraiya would accept for me and add to an ever growing mountain. He had explained already that there were too many guests and too little time to open gifts at my celebration, I could open them later. Instead I was left in the care of either Sakumo or Orochimaru who walked me around the lot introducing me to my well wishers. I had never been more thankful for grandmothers lessons in conversation. This was the worst case of polite conversation I had ever encountered.

All of my age-mates at the academy had received an invitation, why though I couldn't tell you, it certainly wasn't for my benefit as I wasn't to be allowed to play at all. The inclusion of all my peers though made for an unfortunate mixture of civilians who attended 'B' classes and the clan children who were in my class, the 'A' class. The students were segregated the first year for a mixture of reasons, the most widely touted was that the clan children were already prepared for advanced material whereas the civilian children were often starting with no experience at all. There were other reasons of course and significant arguments about the matter, but none that I could ask about without a firm look leveled in my direction.

There was clear tensions between the civilian parents and the clansmen in some areas. The socially savvy Sakumo would breeze into these tense zones and ease them by proffering me up for distraction. He encouraged the dreaded cheek pinching, the politely probing questions about my origins and even allowed, perhaps the most baffling and frightening invasion of space, an inspection of my teeth by a rather loud Inuzuka who thought my canines were in excellent condition. Sakumo twirled me around in front of clan heads, civilian mothers and even the Hokage as he made the rounds, my head swelled with names to remember.

The Akimichi clan had turned out in perhaps the largest numbers. Sachiko and Choza seemed to be tag-teaming the buffet, weaving in and out of crowds and making just enough polite conversation to get away with a full plate. Yuuka had situated herself with a small group of equally elegant ladies that were introduced the wives of the Nara and Yamanaka clan heads as well as prominent business woman from the three clans.

It was at that table that the night unravelled for me. I saw grandmother.

I felt her before I saw her. It was the same as the way I had begun to notice the tornado that was Minato just a second before I could see him and how I suspected that the static feeling coming from the tree above me was Kakashi. Grandma had always had a special sort of feeling, she felt light and airy when she held you, gentle and peaceful, not loud at all like the shinobi here. Feeling her again after so many months was like coming home.

"Oji-san!" I whispered sharply.

Orochimaru paused mid sentence and looked away from some councilman or another to give me his attention. It was flattering the way he could care less about most people but would give me his undivided focus. Minato called it creepy, but Minato didn't know how to treat a lady.

"Ojisan... Did my grandmother come to the party?" I asked.

He stilled for just a second before replying, "I wasn't aware that Jiraiya's mother was still living."

"Not Jiraiya's mother! My grandmother, from home. Do you know if she came? If anyone from there came?"

"Not tonight Suzuki. We can discuss this later." He replied with a warning look on his face.

I could take a hint. I wasn't supposed to talk about Sugi tonight. Maybe because I was being presented as a clan heir and shouldn't remind everyone I was effectively a whore's daughter or maybe it was something else. An illegitimate birth didn't seem like the kind of thing that would bother Orochimaru or any shinobi really.

I didn't believe him but I nodded anyway before looking in the direction of the table I had last seen Yuuka sitting at. "Could I visit with Yuuka-san?"

He waved me off and I gladly accepted the break from my hostess duties.

"Yuuka-san!" I shouted out to her as I ran up to her. She turned in unison with the rest of the ladies at her table to look at me.

"Suzuki-chan! What a coincidence seeing you here at this party!" Yuuka said with a grin.

I could help but smile back. Talking with Yuuka was like being back in the hanamachi, her words flowed like honey and silk, sweet and smooth and so very perfect.

"Have you seen my grandmother by any chance? Ojisan said she wasn't here, but I was so sure she was." I questioned lightly, watching her face for any tells. If anyone from Sugi was here than Yuuka would know.

"I'm afraid I haven't seen her since I left so long ago. You know she couldn't handle travel well in her condition. I'm -"

I lost track of Yuuka's words as I looked past her at grandmothers form heading towards us. She looked a little different than I remembered, she was moving a little more smoothly and her kimono looked a little less ornate than I would have expected but it was her. The same long blonde hair streaked with grey and blue eyes you could see even from a distance. I didn't recognize her companion, but grandmother had so many friends that anyone of them could have escorted her from Sugi.

I didn't understand why I wasn't moving until my muscles finally released me and I sprinted the distance between us, stopping just before hitting her and throwing myself around her.

"Grandmother!"

"Grandmother? Do I have another one? Let's see you then." She said as she pulled me loose for inspection. She spun me round in a small circle and then straightened me back out in front of her.

"Hmmm... No... I think you have the wrong grandmother, all my grandchildren are little blondes with blue eyes, Yamanakas the lot of them. You have white hair and red tears, I think you must be a Kurosawa." She said playfully tugging on one of the braids in my hair.

She looked just like her though and felt just like her too. Maybe a little less wrinkled but the same, I was sure of it.

"Are you sure? You feel just like her! You feel like water and wind all mixed together, like maybe a cloud!" I insisted. I couldn't be wrong; I knew my own grandmother.

I felt her still for just a second, as though I had surprised her somehow. Her companion froze altogether and his focus narrowed in on me.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you on your birthday Suzuki-chan, but I'm not your grandmother however nice it would be if I was." She said as she ran her hand over my hair one last time before straightening herself up.

"Quite the disappointment indeed. You seem to be quite the little prodigy if I hear the rumors right. What do you think Kurosawa-san? Are you a prodigy?" Her companion inquired with the sort of creepily intense gaze that Orochi-oji liked to frighten Minato with.

"Rumors? My grandmother told me that a great mind discusses ideas, an average mind discusses events and a poor mind discusses people." I gently chided. It probably wasn't my place but he was awfully creepy.

I focused my attention back on grandma's look-alike. The braid she was touching had a ribbon in it. I never took them out of my hair, when I had to I always braided them right back in. The ribbon she was touching... it was the one grandma had given me, what did that mean?

Yuuka-san came then and apologised for me. Not just to Yamanaka-san but also to her friend Himura-san, who didn't seem as interested in apologies as he was in me. I made my escape then, avoiding the crowd that we had gathered. I slipped back beside Orochimaru hiding my face behind his haori as I pressed into him trying to reschool my features, my face was flushed hot with shame. I knew I hadn't been wrong no matter what she said.

The rest of the night passed more quickly, it was harder to focus when mysteries were circulating so quickly inside my head seeking solutions. I longed to run off to whatever corner Kakashi was hidden in and put his lightening fast mind to task as well. An impossible desire though, I couldn't abandon my own party and I wasn't sure I could climb up into the treetops in this kimono.

Orochimaru kept a firm grip on my hand as if in fear that I would bolt into another embarrassing social faux pas at any moment. I gave his hand a gentle to squeeze to reassure him, I wasn't going to run off again. I knew where my responsibilities were.

Sakumo had introduced me to clan leaders and prominent community members, all of them courteous and kind. Orochimaru took me to see the generals from the war, shinobi he had fought with and a variety of staff from the research department that he occasionally worked with, all of them a little rude and more than a bit chilly.

He eventually found a conversation partner he wasn't planning on leaving and gave me permission to wander. I made polite conversation on my way to the buffet table as I was waylaid by one well meaning guest after another.

I finally reached my destination when a strong arm reached out from underneath the table and grabbed my leg, one tug from it and I was falling. I caught myself as carefully as I could hoping my kimono wouldn't be ruined. I opened my mouth to scream but before I could there was a hand over it, my panic increased ten fold. I was being pulled backwards, I twisted desperately hoping to escape only to see Kakashi was my captor. He looked at me with an irritated expression before making a gesture for silence and motioning me to follow him.

We were under the main buffet table and dead in the middle was a round dirt hole. He pointed at it and I shook my head. I wasn't going down there, first because I didn't know where it lead and second because it was a dirt hole and dirt implied dirty, which I wasn't going to be.

He gestured again this time more forcefully and I shook my head again before planting myself heavily on the ground. If he was going to insist in this then he was gonna have to do it the hard way. He made another sharp gesture before freezing. I froze too, though I didn't know why, what did he see that I didn't?. The edge of the table cloth lifted and a small boy darted underneath to join us.

'Wh-" I started before Kakashi's hand slammed back over my mouth.

Kakashi made a shooing motion towards the boy, but he shook his head and sat down instead. I wanted to laugh but I didn't think that would help and my surprise ally might not appreciate it. He must have sensed my amusement at the situation because he made another agitated gesture towards the hole. Before I could refuse our new companion slipped inside it, and Kakashi in a panic right behind him.

I sat at the edge of the tunnel waiting for them to come out. My kimono was new, and it was nice... and if it was ruined everyone would know I hadn't been behaving at the party. On the other hand though who knew what was happening down there, they might need my help. Decision made, I slipped down inside and crawled along the tunnel balancing on my toes and fingers and trying not to drag the kimono in the dirt.

They weren't too far ahead of me. They were crouched in at the end of the tunnel where it had been hollowed out just enough to fit two small children comfortably and three with a very tight fit. Kakashi was attempting to push the boy out while at the same time keeping him from making any sounds of protest. The boy was winning.

I crawled into the hollow with them and Kakashi gestured to his ear and pointed up. Listen? Listen to what?

I stilled myself to quiet the rusting and ever so faintly I could hear something...

"...special child indeed. Did she inherit your Aunt's techniques, do you think?" It was a voice I didn't recognize, if I had to guess it sounded a bit familiar, maybe one of the jonin that Jiraiya worked with?

"I only gave her the basic elemental affinity test. All I can say is that she has the Kurosawa chakra, whether or not it has that hairline balance is something we'll see with time." It was Jiraiya's voice, muffled by the layer of earth between us but definitely him.

"But you have an idea already? I can see it on your face. So tell us, is she going to be the next Kurosawa Saaya?" A third voice, and another I wasn't sure about.

"It really is difficult to say. She's young enough that I don't expect her to be able to mold her chakra, so I can't say that the reason she's having trouble pushing it out of her body is that she's not balancing it or because she just can't mold chakra yet."

"She's smart though. Kakashi brought her back here two days ago, he never brings his friends home. He trains with her too, never seen him do that before either. She must be keeping up with him somewhere, and at the moment I'm gonna say its intellectual, they're both a little too mature." This was definitely Sakumo-oji's voice. Is that where he had disappeared to when he left me with Orochi-oji?

There was a scraping and shuffling noise. Perhaps another chair being moved over to the table? If it was a chair it had been positioned directly above Kakashi's cave. Kakashi and the boy froze from their silent struggle, the air thick with the possibility of discovery. None came though.

"Two little prodigies huh? I should send Shisui over. He's just a bit younger but he's quite the little genius, I think he'd get on well with those two. I brought him with me tonight, I bet three little prodigies like that are already thick as thieves." Another new voice, this one deep and resonating.

The boy stilled completely the color draining from his face. We had been made. This must be Shisui who was hiding under here with us. Kakashi gave him what I recognized as his darkest glower. I motioned to the exit in a silent question, should we leave now? Shisui shook his head and we all put our ears back to the ceiling.

"...idea Uchiha-san. Minato could use some more responsibility, most jonin have three students to start with. It wouldn't hurt him to expand his training sessions." That was Jiraiya again. Was he saying Shisui and I would be working with Minato?

"Isn't your daughter already attending the Kunoichi classes? I had assumed she wouldn't be taking the traditional shinobi route." This voice came from the chair above us, presumably Uchiha-san. Whoever he was he knew we were here, he was saying this knowing that we could hear it.

"Ah... well..." Jiraiya seemed to be struggling with this one. Come to think of it, his voice sounded just a bit off, was he drunk? Was he pretending to be drunk? Umeki did that quite often when she was entertaining.

"If she's being trained with a focus in the kunoichi arts you should consider Mikoto-chan for an instructor. She and Fugaku were married a few months ago, quite the big affair. They've pulled her off the missions roster though, just a regular housewife these days. I think the clan could spare her for a few lessons, she's quite the master of tessenjutsu, her knowledge should be passed down." Uchiha-san cut in smoothly his voice resonating down to us, he sounded like a strong man. Most definitely a shinobi.

"Tessenjutsu? It'd be useless, a tessen is best combined with a wind element. The girl is a Kurosawa, thats fire and water, but not an ounce of anything else. Give her a kunai or a senbon, maybe a tanto?" It was the third voice, the one that wanted me to be like Saaya.

"You're clearly not remembering my aunt very well Hagane-san. I think all the kunoichi of her generation used tessen to some extent, it was part of the academy's kunoichi curriculum before the kunoichi classes moved from the general academy." Jiraiya bit out, his voice a little more impatient. He was always a bit defensive of anything related to the Kurosawa.

"I'd agree with that Jiraiya. My Yasuko had several, I wish she had known how to use them better. A well disguised tessen could save a kunoichi's life. If your niece if offering lessons Uchiha-san then Kakashi can go with Suzuki, it certainly won't hurt the boy." Sakumo sounded off. Something wasn't right with him. And who was Yasuko? Kakashi's mom? I hadn't heard anything about her at all.

There was a pause. For a second no one spoke and I feared we were about to be ousted from our cave. I looked at Kakashi but he hadn't moved an inch. Shisui and I glanced at each other and at the exit, it was time to go. We were already pushing our luck.

"Speaking of kunoichi.. has anyone seen Tsunade-hime? I thought she would be here." Hagane-san broke the silence only to start another one. It seemed to be getting tenser up there, even the air down here felt heavier.

"I understand that the Hokage signed her paperwork. She's officially on a three month reconnaissance mission investigating obscure medicinal techniques. Unofficially she's-"

"Jiraiya. Have you seen where your daughter has gone? It's been sometime since I last saw her." Orochimaru cut him off.

"What-" Jiraiya started.

"Ah. I think I last saw those miscreants running around with Shisui-chan in the kennels. I'm sure they won't be too much longer, Shisui at least knows better than to run off for too long Why don't you pull up a chair and join us? We were just discussing the merits of the tessen." Uchiha-san interrupted. It was a good save though and definitely our cue to exit..

Wordlessly we made for the opening of the tunnel. I followed Kakashi and our silent companion back out while trying to save my kimono from too much damage. We emerged back under the buffet table where Kakashi shooed the boy, pointing in the direction I knew the kennels to be in, this time he nodded and left. He tapped thirty times on the ground before shooing me also. I slipped out and watched as another half a minute passed before Kakashi's static feeling suddenly reappeared in the trees, but not before I felt him brush past me and heard him whisper "Happy Birthday". Only Kakashi would think organizing a spying mission was the perfect birthday present. My head reeling from all the revelations of the night I wasn't going to complain.

I headed for the Hatake kennels as quickly as I could. It wouldn't do for anyone to bore of conversation and come looking for us where we should be and find us where we shouldn't.

Kakashi had already let the dogs out by the time I got there. None of the pups, I knew from experience that nin-pups could be be uncontrollable, but all of Sakumo's ninken were loose. Shisui was pinned down by a giant white dog, one of many, drool dripping from his mouth onto poor Shisui's face as he licked him.

"Which one is that Kakashi? Please call him off." I asked pointing to Shisui's attacker.

"Shakkuri, Heel!" Kakashi called.

The dog glanced over at us and then promptly ignored him.

"They don't listen to you?! Why did you let them out?" I hoped he could hear the disbelief in my voice.

"I didn't!" He defended. "It was that moron. I think its his first canine experience, so just let him enjoy it."

I could agree with that. If Shisui had let them out, he could find a way to let himself out. I had met a few of Sakumo's ninken before, they could be a more than bit frightening but were well trained, at least trained enough that they wouldn't eat most kids. I climbed up the wire fencing to join Kakashi on his perch well out of dog licking range, I had a new kimono to consider.

"Join us up here when you can Shisui-chan!" I called down to the boy as I watched another great white beast approach him. He waved a free arm in my direction before he was engulfed by another white dog.

"Why are all oji-sans dogs white Kashi-chan?" I asked, filling the void of silence that surrounded him. It was a deeper silence then usual, more contemplative and significantly less content.

"Fear. I think it's about fear." He sounded thoughtful, which meant I had his attention.

"Fear?" I prompted. Kakashi was a wealth of information if you could find something he was interested in.

"I think tousan used to have a more varied pack. I've seen a few photos with different dogs. If he only has white dogs now it's because he's purposefully breeding for white dogs. You know that in the last war they started calling him the White Fang, because of his tanto. Tousan fights with a tanto that gives off a white light, the Hakkō Chakura Tō."

"If the dogs attacked in the wake of the blade they would be less likely to be seen?" I guessed.

"I think that's part of it. Tou-san has a reputation as a deadly shinobi, since the white dogs are associated with him they're just as feared, they're part of his legend. He spreads the dogs out between his team because they're better than killing intent, the white dog means the white fang means you're dead."

I nodded. It was a legitimate, if ruthless strategy. It was alarming how commonplace conversation like this was becoming, in the okiya I wouldn't have dared. In the hanamachi we pretended the rest of the world didn't exist, the hanamachi was a retreat from reality for our guests, it would be unseemly to bring any of the war or bloodshed of the shinobi life within the confines of our walls.

"Are you going to have white dogs like Shakkuri then Kakashi?" I asked.

He paused for a moment. One of his more thoughtful pauses as opposed to his dismissive ones.

"Tousan uses the same breed of dog. Most of the ninken are Shakkuri and Haha's pups so they're all very similar in appearance and ability. The white coat could be better for camouflage, a little dirt and you can easily change color, but you can't turn a brown dog white in the snow, that would be one benefit. The same breed of the dog for an entire ninken pack though... they are versatile, and can use a wider variety of combination techniques. When they look the same it's hard to know how many there are.. and they can be more easily hidden in a genjutsu. At the same time though, you sacrifice the diversity of the pack..." He paused again and I waited patiently. "In summary, I don't know."

I tugged on a few loose strands of my own white hair pulling them out for his inspection. They were just as white as the fur on the ninken, it made you think about how often they were bathed.. or if perhaps they had dirt resistant fur?

"I think Kakashi," I said presenting my own white locks before him, "that white is the preferred color."

"White isn't even a color Suzuki." He said with a sigh.

"Oh... I guess it's not." I wasn't sure what to say, his mood didn't seem to be picking up and it probably wouldn't anytime soon.

I hesitated and then went for it. He wouldn't hold a grudge for too long and this was probably what was eating at him.

"Kakashi... who is Yakuso?" I asked tentatively.

The fence shook for just a second and he was gone. I sighed, it wasn't as if I hadn't seen that one coming. Kakashi was notoriously close mouthed about his personal life, and no one else seemed willing to speak about it either.

I looked down at my remaining companion, he was watching silently from atop Shakkuri's back as he rode the dog around the kennels. He was just a few inches shorter than Kakashi, but about the same height as me with a lean figure and short curly black hair.

"What are you up to Shisui-chan?" I called down.

"Riding dogs!" He called back up, thumping poor Shakkuri as he said it as if to emphasize that he was in fact riding a dog.

"No, I didn't mean now. I meant why were you following Kakashi and I earlier? You know, into the tunnel?" I said clarifying the question.

He jumped of Shakkuri's back and climbed up the fence where he leaned imperiously over me, perfectly balanced on the steel beam. He paused to straighten out his ever present grin into something more serious and brush some of the dirt off his close, but the time he took made him more comical than menacing.

"A detective always investigates suspicious activity," he said imperiously as he jabbed two fingers square into the middle of my forehead, "and you were very suspicious."

"Oh? Will you be reporting our breach in conduct then?" I asked trying to gauge the seriousness of the situation. The last thing we needed was a little police officer in training ratting us out for spying.

"No. I became an accessory to the crime when I did not immediately report you. I suspect the commanding officer is already aware of the situation, I am certain I will be reprimanded on return to the station." He looked solemn as he spoke and his posture had straightened. He was too serious for a boy of.. maybe four years?

"Reprimanded on return to the station?" I prompted him.

"The chief was aware of the junior detective's excursion, he situated himself above the hideout and immediately made his presence known." He paused for a second and his face scrunched into a brief grimace before he continued. "When the event ends the chief will take me back to Sub-Station One and I will be turned over to Sub-Commander Kaasan for debriefing and most likely the assignment of work details as punishment for deviant behavior."

I couldn't help but laugh, this kid was too cute and funny.

"Then don't go home Junior Detective Shisui! You should stay here with Kakashi and I, we are supposed to be having a sleepover tonight while tousan helps ojisan clear out the yard." I offered between giggles. I doubted tousan or ojisan would mind, the both of them always wanted Kakashi and I to play with the other kids our age.

"A good officer always takes responsibility for his mistakes." He replied, clearly quoting someone.

"So take responsibility tomorrow and play tonight." I said as I climbed out of the kennels and beckoned him to follow.

He didn't climb down after me, instead he jumped. Better than a jump actually, it was more like a forward flip and he landed perfectly. I gawked, was everyone going to be better than me? This kid was definitely the baby around here and I could tell already I would still be losing at ninja games.

I brushed off my kimono which had miraculously avoided most of the dirt and grabbed his hand before we took off running. Tousan wasn't hard to find, he was still sitting at the main table with my uncles and a few other guests.

"Tousan!" I shouted grabbing his attention as I pulled Shisui forward. "I found him in the kennels! Can I keep him!"

He laughed along with most of the table before nodding in the direction of the man I assumed was Uchiha-san. "You'll have to ask his tousan, he's not mine to be giving away."

I turned to Uchiha-san and inclined my head in the sort of casual manner that excited children can get away with before pushing Shisui forward. "Can I? It'd be just for tonight! Kakashi and I are having a sleepover and Shisui can stay with us, he can borrow Kakashi's things since he doesn't have his own!"

Uchiha-san looked more amused than I expected for someone who knew we had been making mischief.

"Shisui! Attention!" He barked.

Shisui immediately straightened up, his heels slammed together, his shoulders went back, his chin went up and his arms fixed at his side. There was a short pause, perhaps a minute, in which Uchiha-san did not speak and Shisui-chan did not move, not a millimeter.

"Junior Detective Shisui are you requesting a leave of absence to attend a sleepover at the Hatake Estate?" Uchiha-san questioned.

"Hai!" Shisui replied without leaving his position.

"Permission granted. Report to Sub-Station 3 when you are dismissed from the sleepover." Uchiha-san said before softening his voice. "And make sure you have fun Shisui. Now dismissed."

He waved us off and I looked to tousan questioningly, this was alright wasn't it? He nodded at me and motioned us in the direction of the training ground where most of our peers were playing.

Kakashi wasn't there, not that I was surprised. Kakashi didn't like to play with babies and if you hadn't graduated the Academy yet you were still a baby... so anyone our age certainly counted. I couldn't blame him though, he did outclass them quite a bit, after all he didn't need to play ninja anymore... _he was already a ninja_. There seemed to be a game of free for all Shinobi Wars going that Shisui immediately dominated.

With the help of his cousin Obito who I knew a little from my class at the Academy we formed a three man cell that quickly became a six man alliance. Asuma, a red eyed girl named Kurenai and a civilian kid named Gai joined us with some prompting from Obito and Shisui's permission. Our alliance dominated the battlefield with Shisui and Asuma taking on most of the combat, Gai and Obito making noise and dramatic poses and Kurenai and I acting as lookouts.

When Jiraiya came to collect me so I could thank my guests and see them off it was a strange mix of relief and disappointment. The game hadn't been that exciting, but Asuma and Shisui were fun to watch and Kurenai was interesting. She was almost as good a gossip as Sachiko and happy to share the dirt on the academy girls who had a tendency to tease her.

I stood for what felt like hours thanking guests and accepting compliments, cheek pinches, head pats and one final canine inspection before we saw off the last guest. I bowed my head and Jiraiya inclined his just a fraction as we gave our final farewell to Yuhi-sama and her daughter, Kurenai. I genuinely hoped to see her again in the future and determined to advance at least a year ahead in my schoolwork so I could join her class.

Jiraiya turned to me when they were finally out of sight and I could see the exhaustion on his face. It had been a long night for everyone and it was actually a bit of a relief to think that I wouldn't have to do this every year.

'Suzu,' he said with a tired voice, 'I think Kakashi and Shisui are already getting ready for bed. Why don't you go join them and I'll be along in a bit for a story."

"Hai.. but tousan.. I was wondering.. the other kids, they're not really the same are they?" Watching them all fumble around across the training grounds it was obvious that Kakashi and I were in a different league. Shisui was smart like us, but I could tell he related to them better than Kakashi and I did, they were just so childish.

"What do you mean Suzuki? What's different about them?" He said kneeling down in front of me, all signs of exhaustion suddenly gone.

"I don't think they're different tousan. I think Kakashi and I are different. Why are we?"

"All the Hatake are smart like that Suzu. Sakumo was the same when he was young, it's just something about their clan. And you.. you are just special, there is nothing wrong with you at all, I couldn't be happier that you are so clever." He looked me straight in the eye as he said it, as if trying to judge how much I believed him.

I couldn't say I didn't think he was holding something back but it was a good enough answer for now. For Kakashi at least this was normal, that meant there was hope for me too. I hugged tightly and then headed for the main house.

Tousan had packed me an overnight bag already and I changed into a pair of toad pyjamas, the only kind I had these days. Shisui and Kakashi were in the kitchen with Sakumo, Minato, Orochimaru and several mugs of warm milk. I pulled myself up onto Orochi-oji's lap and sniffed at his mug, Tsunade-hime said he poisoned all his drinks. It did look a little off color compared to the others.. was it really poisoned?

"Ojisan, if you poison all your drinks then why do you drink them? Won't you get sick?"

Minato choked.

"This one is only poisoned a little, so its safe for little princess like you." He replied pushing the mug into my hands.

Despite Shisui's shocked protesting, Kakashi's incredulous stare and Minato coughing up a milk soaked lung I sipped it anyway. Ojisan wasn't going to let me have anything really dangerous, he was my ojisan and that meant he had to look out for me. It did have a strange flavor though.

"Cinnamon?" I mouthed at him.

He nodded just slightly with a sly look. Did he look like that because they all thought it was poison and it was just cinnamon or because the cinnamon was masking the taste of a poison? Definitely something to consider.

I sipped contentedly until my tongue was a bit numb, from the heat of the milk or a potential paralytic poison, and my eyes were beginning to close. I let out a loud yawn only to jerk upright as Shisui panicked.

"She is poisoned!" He yelled. "Look at her, shes barely conscious!"

I gave him my best glare, but to no effect. It was too late, he had as good as said we were ready for bedtime.

"I think she's just tired Shisui-chan." Sakumo replied using the dreaded 'T' word. "Kakashi, why don't you take Shisui and Suzuki to your room and three of you settle into bed."

Kakashi nodded before taking his cup to the sink and then heading off for his room. Shisui scrambled behind him and I staggered as Ojisan dumped me off his lap and pushed me towards the door.

I resisted leaving looking longingly at my presents. I never got anywhere near that many presents.

Minato seemed to sense my predicament, "You can look at them tomorrow, we need to prepare appropriate cards to thank everyone. Unless you would like to?"

I shook my head and took off after the boys. Kakashi was stopped at the sliding door that I assumed lead to his room. He turned to look at me and Shisui his feet shifting in an almost imperceptible shuffle, nervous, he was nervous.

"There are rules', he said looking me straight in the eye, 'repeat them after me.'

I nodded in understanding.

'The first rule, you may not touch my things.'

"The first rule, you may not touch my things. Of course, I won't touch your stuff either." I replied with what I hoped was a cheeky grin but my face was practically paralyzed from pinching and I probably looked terribly pathetic.

Shisui just nodded. "I won't. A good officer never steals and he never damages property."

He gave Shisui a warning glare before reciting his next rule.

"The second rule, you are not allowed to bother Haha."

"Mother?!" I questioned in surprise, before slipping past him through the door.

In the center of the room was three great futons pressed together, a messy pile of blankets and an enormous white dog. There was no one else there, just Kakashi, Shisui, the ninken and myself. I looked at him curiously before turning to the dog. Right I had forgotten Kakashi mentioning this dog earlier, this was Haha then, one of Sakumo's ninken.

"Kakashi..." I said trailing off before I could come up with a way to phrase this situation. He hadn't acted like he was talking about one of the ninken, I had thought for just a second he meant his elusive mother, the one no one talked about.

"Her name is Haha." He reluctantly offered.

I waited, moving into a more neutral position with my body. I wanted to neither press him nor give him consent to ignore me.

"Tou-san retired her when I was born, she and Shakkuri always stay here with me. Most of the ninken sleep in here at night." His expression practically dared me to argue with him.

I wasn't going to, there was clearly more to this situation then I knew. Like if Kakashi looked after Shakkuri and Haha then why wouldn't Shakkuri listen to him?

"She's a beautiful dog" I said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

I was lying though. The dog wasn't beautiful in the conventional sense at all. She had clearly seen a lot of action; thick ropey scars wound their way around the dog's muzzle, a hitaite had been positioned across it's right eye where I assumed one might find something absent and patches of fur were missing all across its body and in their place were a variety of healed wounds. You could look at it another way though, those were all scars that Hatake-sama didn't have.

Shisui leaned in through the doorway. "Can I come in now too?"

"Hai! You can have the futon closest to the wall okay." I said directing him the third of three futons that had been lined up and pressed together. Kakashi and Haha had already claimed the one closest to the door by merit of Haha already sleeping on it. I took the one in the middle, Kakashi probably wouldn't want his back to either a stranger or the door.

Shisui and I slipped nervously into bed as the ninken piled in around us. Kakashi just collapsed on top of them and they shifted around him till he all but disappeared into the white fur. Sakumo's full pack consisted of almost thirty dogs of with varied levels of training and experience and Kakashi hadn't lied when he said they all slept in here.

By the time Jiraiya arrived to tell us the story of how three Ame orphans found there way home in a rainstorm Shisui and I were no more visible than Kakashi was and pressed together for safety against the encroaching fluffy masses.

When I did finally fall asleep I dreamed of the gate again. It had been months since I had last dreamed of this imaginary annoyance.

Ann wasn't at the gate waiting for me. The books she used to prop it open were gone and there was only the crack there had been the first time I had looked. I peeked through but I still couldn't see her.

I could open the door... but it was better to look for other alternatives first. Without Ann acting as a distraction I really inspected the gate this time. It stretched so high that I couldn't see the top, presuming there was a top which I couldn't say for sure. There was a steady stream of chakra coming through the gap where the doors overlapped, it ran straight for about six feet before it began pooling in a small lake.

The lake of chakra had a thick syrupy look to it, if I touched it I thought it might feel like oil. It was clean though, and lighter than I expected my chakra to look. Did that have something to do with the source? Another question that would probably require at least a genin level pass to the library to solve. Leaning over the edge of the lake I could see Jiraiya's perfect calligraphy and the kanji for sleep. This was the leaking chakra then. Presumably the seal should activate and the chakra would be rerouted back behind the gate. That made sense, I had seen the return flow of chakra before I just hadn't put it together with the seal. It wasn't active now though or if it was it wasn't rerouting the chakra.

I reached my hand to touch the surface as my fingers ghosted close I jolted awake. My heart was inexplicably pounding, my skin sweaty and giant dog with hackles raised was towering over me.

"Haha?"

The dog didn't respond. Of course not, this wasn't Haha, there was no eyepatch... then this was... "Shakkuri?" I guessed.

The dog seemed to relax. I took a second to take in my surroundings. This wasn't Kakashi's room. I was in the yard, my hands were twisted in a patch of long grass and my pyjamas were wet from the dew.

"Suzuki?" I turned sharply to see Jiraiya watching me from behind. "Suzu-chan, what are you doing out here?"

"I..." I paused, should I tell him? If the dreams were real it might mean something was wrong me with me. Yumiko and the geisha at the okiya had sent me away when I wasn't going to be pretty enough and if there was something wrong inside me Jiraiya might send me away too. I didn't want to leave, there wasn't anywhere to go. "I don't know tousan, I just woke up. I had a nightmare."

"What was it about Suzu-chan?" his voice softer now, but still with that powerful edge.

"I was trapped in a box tousan! I couldn't get out at all and I was so scared!" I said forcing out tears and the lie with ease, I was scared, just not of a nightmare. He didn't need to know about Ann and the wall in my dreams and whatever the sleepwalking meant, I wasn't sure I needed to know either.

He reached down and picked me and I held onto him as I tight as I could. I wasn't going to let him down, he wasn't ever going to send me away.

* * *

_**AN** - Thanks for taking the time to read this far. If you were curious... I did in fact pass the NCLEX in 75 questions! So if you're ever hospitalized you can now look at your nurse and think..'this hot young girl may in fact be an avid fanfiction reader and writer" unless that nurse is not a hot young girl... in which case it's not me. So anyway my Motivation = Good. It's not just motivating me in this direction though, my silly sister Cavy got me hooked on 'Attack on Titan' and I'm dying to make the Survey Corps Uniform... and of course I'm now also gonna be trying my hand at a smidge of fun AoT FanFiction._

_So.. I think I know pretty much what direction I want to take everyone in, but I'm as always taking ideas. Right now for Suzuki's weapon development. We are tossing around... puppets, fans, senbon, poisons, ninja wire, seals of all varieties and the possibility of a katana (orochimaru) or tanto (sakumo). I've introduced a lot of possibilities that I might want to go with... but if you have an idea that you think might be good... then I'm open to suggestions!_

_I'm also interested in what people think of the Konoha Military Police, I feel like they don't really get recognized much and there is a lot that could be done with them. I have a few ideas, but I'm interested in your thoughts._

_and of course... **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT!**_


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